Five Points
by omens
Summary: One night broke five hearts. Can they ever be mended?
1. Prologue

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Prologue

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The night that changed Emma's life began with a morning like any other Friday.

As usual, the Nelson-Simpson house was a flurry with activity as everyone flew around preparing for the day. Spike was getting Jack dressed, carrying him in one arm while she searched for his socks. Snake was trying to finish breakfast and get his papers together for class. Manny was over, picking up the last of her stuff before school. It had been almost a month since her parents had asked her to move home, but her clothes had maintained their residence just in case she decided to come back. But so far, things seemed to be going good. Meanwhile, Emma was trying desperately to locate her book report and Sean was attempting to escape a phone call with his mother.

"Mom, I'm gonna be late," he said.

Emma ducked around him, looking for her paper on the coffee table and surrounding surfaces. The exasperation in his voice made her look up at him and smile. He made a face at her and she giggled.

"Mom," Sean tried again, "I really have to go. I'll call you later."

He hung up the phone. Emma was looking at him with a bemused expression, having found her paper under the couch.

"What?" he asked.

She shrugged. "Nothing. You're just really cute is all."

He grinned at her. "Then you won't care to help me put this stuff away." He gestured at the pillows and blankets on the couch. Ever since Sean had been staying there, they had made it a habit of fixing the couch each night before he went to sleep together and then putting everything away in the mornings.

"I think I can be persuaded to do that," she said.

She loved this little ritual. Sean's staying with them after his release from jail had been weird in the beginning. He had been so eager to be helpful around the house at first; that was where the bed making began. Eventually, her parents had just told him that they wanted him there and weren't going to kick him out for not doing every little thing around the house. They were just trying to help him get back on his feet.

Snake and Spike walked into the living room, both about to head out, and laughed at Sean and Emma's playful tussle over the blanket they were folding.

"Guys, we need to talk to you for a second." Spike said.

Manny hobbled back in the room, weighed down by the vestiges of her closet, and sat on the couch beside Emma, tossing her clothes on a nearby chair.

"We're going away for the weekend." Spike readjusted Jack in her arms, taking in the surprise on the three teenagers' faces.

"Why didn't you tell us?" Emma asked, a slightly bitter tone in her voice at being left out of the loop.

"We weren't sure until last night. One of my customers has a cabin about an hour away and offered it to us. She just called yesterday and said it was definitely free."

"And Jack?" Emma inquired.

"Staying with my mom." Snake added.

"So that means you guys will have the house to yourselves. But there are some rules." Spike interjected, taking note of the falling faces at her last sentence.

"Like what?"

The serious look her mother gave her made it very clear what the first rule was; Sean would still be sleeping on the couch. No exceptions.

Sean cleared his throat uncomfortably. Emma wasn't the only one who had understood the deliberately unsaid rule and the tension in the room soared.

"No parties, no drinking, no overnight guests, generally no behavior that you think we would disapprove of in any way." Snake chimed in, more to break the tension than anything else. But his words left little to be said in regards to the weekend's guidelines.

"Okay." Emma agreed. "We'll behave."

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"You are not serious!" Manny exclaimed loudly, a look of shock and disapproval springing up across her face.

"Shh!" Emma hissed. She looked around to make sure they hadn't been overheard by the substitute teacher. Manny had been trying to weasel information out of Emma about what she had planned for the weekend all day. Finally thoroughly exasperated, Emma had just admitted that she was going to treat it like any another weekend.

"Em, your parents are leaving you alone for the entire weekend. And Sean. Alone. In a house. With no parents. Alone." Manny said as if she were talking to a small child.

"I get it." Emma said quietly. "And could you keep your voice down?"

"What, are you guys fighting or something?" Manny asked.

"No, we're not fighting. We just …" Emma trailed off, a blush creeping up her face.

"Hang on," Manny held up a hand to stop her. She peered around the lab to make sure no one could overhear them before continuing, "Don't you **want** to be alone with Sean?"

Emma fidgeted in her seat. She was purposely avoiding Manny's gaze, trying to force her to drop the subject by insisting they had to finish their work.

"You mean, you guys haven't yet?" Manny's eyes were as big as saucers and the surprise in her voice was unmistakable.

"You can pick your jaw up off the table," Emma said sarcastically, "and no. We haven't. We haven't even gotten close."

"Why not?" Manny asked, as if it were unfathomable for two people to date and not have sex.

"Are you kidding? Manny, Sean is living at my house."

"Which is like, every teenager's dream. Easy access." Manny said. A small grin formed on her face as she imagined the possibilities.

"Yeah, it would be if we could ever get a minute alone. My parents are stricter lately than yours were in grade seven."

"Ouch."

"Tell me about it. Sean's not even allowed in my room, and between school and his job, we just never get any time alone."

Manny looked at her best friend, who looked dangerously close to tears. She had always figured that Emma had slept with Peter, and given the way Manny felt about him, just chose not to tell her. But now, looking at the actual terror in Emma's eyes, it was clear that Emma was nervous because not only had she not slept with Sean; she had never slept with anybody.

"Well, do you want to?" Manny asked, her voice suddenly taking on a sincere note.

Emma was bright red by that time, and looking everywhere but at Manny. "There's more to our relationship than just … you know, the physical stuff. I love Sean."

"And he loves you. That much is crystal clear. But Em, this isn't exactly something you can ignore. It'll keep coming up until you deal with it."

Emma sighed. The bell rang and they gathered their books, heading out into the hallway. At their lockers, Emma pulled Manny closer so they wouldn't need to talk above whispers.

"My mom was really clear and everything, but I know Sean. He's off all weekend, and with my parents gone …"

"You're worried he might be thinking …maybe it's time?" Manny trailed off.

Emma sighed and leaned back against her locker. The cool metal distracted her for a second, but it did nothing to quell the bundle of nerves in her stomach. "I know he would never push me or anything, but it's bound to come up."

"Well just … don't let him try to talk you into anything you're not ready for." Manny said seriously, placing a comforting hand on her beset friend's shoulder.

Manny's comment broke the tension a little, and Emma laughed. "You sound like Miss Sauvé."

"Okay, okay. I'll stop. On another note, did I tell you that Craig called last night?"

"Only about twelve times." Emma stated, rolling her eyes at the repetition.

The students walked by on their way home for the day. They watched the crowd moving past them, both caught up in their own thoughts.

"He said he's probably going to be back in a few days. I can't wait. Do you realize it's been almost eight months since he's been gone?" Manny rambled on , examining her nails.

"He was here for graduation." She reminded her, thinking back briefly to Craig's visit in May and the night they'd all hung out with Peter at Joey's while Craig regaled them with stories of recording and Vancouver's hot spots.

"For one day." Manny scoffed. "This time he's staying two whole weeks." She spread her arms wide, trying to illustrate the time span with her hands. Emma laughed. Manny's grin was so big, she looked like she had a coat hanger in her mouth.

"So it looks like I'm not the only one with a potentially romantic weekend on the horizon." Emma bumped her shoulder against Manny's playfully.

"I just hope yours goes as well as mine's going to." Manny said smugly.

"Someone's arrogant." Emma joked.

"Someone has every right to be arrogant. I get Craig all to myself for two entire weeks."

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"I'm coming!" Ellie yelled.

She skidded while running through the hallway in her socks, and nearly collided with Dylan's antique end table. Whoever was at the door had been ringing the bell consistently for nearly five minutes and she had run down the stairs in the middle of getting ready for class.

"Anybody I know?" came a voice through the door. Ellie stopped, her hand on the doorknob. She knew that voice.

Ellie opened the door and much to her dismay, released an overly excited, and completely out of character, squeal at the sight of Craig on the other side.

He laughed and pulled her to him in a tight hug. "Guess that means you missed me, huh?"

"Maybe a little," she said, blushing slightly as she pulled back. "What are you doing here?"

"I just got in. The cab was passing by, Marco gave me the address, thought I'd take a chance and see if you were home." He looked her up and down with a grin. "You look great, El. College life really agrees with you."

"Likewise," she told him, still unnerved that he was there and her reaction to him, "you look like a real musician."

"I am," he said smugly.

She smacked him lightly on the arm. Opening the door for him, she walked backwards as he followed her through the house. "I want to hear all about it. Don't you dare leave a single detail out."

Craig settled in at the kitchen table while Ellie made coffee.

"It was incredible," he told her. "Vancouver is … its so great, El. You have to come visit me out there. You'd love it."

"Sounds like it." She placed the coffee on the table, Craig's with milk and cinnamon, and pointedly ignored the mention of her coming out to visit him.

"Yeah." He went on, getting too excited to notice her lack of enthusiasm. "Leo really came through. He got me a great place to stay, and the best back up musicians. He's really looking out for me."

"Well, he can see you're gonna be a huge star. Better get on your good side while he can," she said, venom dripping from her words.

"Someone's still bitter." he quipped.

Ellie made an outraged noise. "I am not bitter. I just didn't like the way he used the band to get to you."

"If you say so." Craig sipped his coffee. She narrowed her eyes at him. He laughed, taking in her appearance.

"You going somewhere?" he gestured at her state of dress with his coffee cup.

Ellie cursed and jumped up. "I'm gonna be late for class." She hurried up the stairs, muttering with every step.

Craig chuckled as he shook his head. Some things would never change. Like Ellie. And he was grateful for that. It made it that much easier on him.

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	2. Into the Unknown

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Into the Unknown

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"Hey, Manny."

She looked up from her mother's shopping list and smiled. "Joey. Hey."

He peered into her grocery basket. "Looks like an interesting evening."

"What do you mean?" she asked, her brow wrinkling in confusion. She didn't really see the 'interesting' factor in eggs and cornmeal mix.

"I just assumed you and Craig would have bigger plans than a quiet home cooked dinner," he said.

"Well I'm sure we will when he comes into town."

"Which should have been ," he glanced down at this watch, "almost two hours ago."

"I thought he wasn't coming for a few days." Manny's voice was small and her eyes took on a hurt yet angry expression.

Joey's face fell as he realized the mistake he'd made. "He lucked into a earlier flight. He probably just went home and crashed. You know, jet lag." He chuckled a bit in an attempt to alleviate the awkwardness of the situation.

"Jet lag. Right." Manny's eyes narrowed, making Joey suddenly very glad he wasn't in his stepson's shoes.

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"Em, you home?" Sean called, searching the family room. "I brought dinner."

He sat the pizza box down on the kitchen table. Calling out for her again, he opened the basement door.

"I'm down here!" she yelled.

"Yeah, but I'm not allowed down there."

"I won't tell if you don't." she replied.

Chuckling, Sean made his way down the stairs. He had been staying there for over a month, and it was the only the second time he'd been down there. It was exactly as he remembered it, sans Manny's piles of clothes on the floor. Emma was much tidier.

She was at her computer, typing furiously. He placed his hands on her shoulders and kissed the top of her head.

She tilted her head back to smile up at him. "Hi."

"Hey." He kissed her nose softly. "Whatcha doing?"

"I'm trying to get all of my homework done so we can have the entire weekend free," she explained, focusing back on her screen.

Sean's hands began kneading her neck muscles. "Do you have any plans or anything?" he asked in a slow, deep voice.

Emma swallowed. She'd known this conversation was going to happen, she just wished it wasn't happening quite so soon. "I don't know," she covered one of his hands with hers, "I thought we'd just play it by ear."

He bent lower, his chin going to her shoulder. "As long as I'm with you then I'm good."

Sean kissed her cheek and she melted. She should have known Sean was going to make this difficult. It was all she could do not to just turn off the computer and attack him right there-especially when he was still massaging her neck and shoulders and he smelled so good from his after work shower.

"I'll …uh," she stammered when Sean kissed the ticklish spot under her jaw, "I'll be up in just a minute."

"Okay. I'll get dinner ready. Root bear all right?" he asked.

She nodded, and he squeezed her shoulder before heading back upstairs. Emma sighed and saved her file. Without saying a word, Sean had made it perfectly clear what his hopes were for that night.

It's not that she didn't want to be with Sean, she did. She loved him with everything she had and she knew he felt the same way. She also knew that if she said she wasn't ready Sean would accept it. _"I like, respect you, and whatever." _The words, though not very poetic, were as sincere as anything he'd ever said to her and she knew he'd meant them completely.

Emma's eyes fell on the bulletin board over her dresser. It was covered in a photo collage she'd been adding onto since grade seven, and the majority of it revolved around her and Sean. The most prominent image was a recent one taken right after Sean was released from jail. They had been washing his car and he had sprayed her with the water hose. A huge water fight ensued, and her mom snapped a picture of them mid fight, her laughing with Sean holding her from behind to prevent her escaping.

Next to the collage was a framed picture of them taken at her mother's wedding. She loved that picture. They were so young and smitten then. All of the bad stuff that came after seemed unimaginable when she looked at the two of them smiling on the beach.

The only thing she was certain about was that she loved Sean. Anything other than that was still up in the air. So she made a decision about that night, she really would just play it by ear. Whatever happened, happened.

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"Give me my phone back!" Craig yelled, chasing Ellie down the hall.

"No." Ellie dodged him as he attempted to grab her. Laughing, she dashed into the kitchen with him right on her heels.

Once she had finished getting ready, Ellie realized just how late she was. Knowing that she would miss at least half her class if she was lucky, she decided to skip it all together and just hang out with Craig. Missing one class wasn't going to hurt anything. Besides, once Manny got a hold of him, there was no way to know if she'd see him again during his stay.

Craig finally managed to catch her, and in trying to turn her around, only succeeded in pining her up against the refrigerator. She held the phone behind her back, determined to keep Craig from getting it.

He had left it on the table while he was in the bathroom and she began idly scrolling through it. Craig hadn't stayed in contact much through calls or emails, but he'd sent tons of music to her phone while he was gone, and she was looking for new stuff. Before he left, neither of them would have thought anything of going through the other's phone. So when she saw the little icon for recent photos, she had no qualms about taking a peek.

That was when she found the picture of him asleep in the studio with a group of guys putting makeup on him and adorning his hair with sparkle clips. And she really didn't want to know where they had gotten them. But that didn't stop her from sending it to her own phone, her email, to Marco, Jimmy, Ash … and that was when he had caught her.

"Surrender the phone," he warned in a mock scary voice, "or suffer the consequences."

"Manning, I've seen your idea of 'consequences' and I am so not scared." she taunted, grasping the phone even tighter.

"Oh, it's on!" Craig declared and dug his fingers into her sides, tickling her and forcing her to drop the phone. She squealed, and then smacked him when he released her.

"That is so not right." She shoved at his shoulder and he pulled her into a hug. She settled against him, her head tucked neatly under his chin and pressed her cheek against his chest, listening to his heart beating.

"I really missed you, El." He whispered.

"Me too." she replied. Ever since Craig left, she had been wondering if what she felt for him was real or not. When the feelings persisted during his absence, she'd chalked it up to loneliness. The flood that washed over her upon seeing him at graduation was explained away by the fact that she missed him. But standing there with his arms draped around her months later made the truth land right at her feet. She was crazy about him. And it didn't look like her feelings were going away any time soon.

His phone, the reason for their current situation, began chiming. Craig pulled it out and his face froze. With an apologetic look, he flipped it open. "Manny, hey."

A cold feeling flowed through Ellie's stomach. Manny. Of course. She pulled away from him and sat down at the kitchen table. He came in a few minutes later and sat across from her.

"Sorry about that. It was Manny."

"I heard," she said frostily.

Her tone wasn't lost on Craig, but he thought it best to ignore it. Ellie's feelings about Manny were nothing new, but it would all be resolved soon enough. He was going to fix it. And he knew exactly where to start.

"Manny said something about a party tonight at Emma's. You interested?" he asked hopefully.

"Oh, so I can hang out with high schoolers **and** watch Sean fawn all over Emma. Fun, fun, fun." she said sarcastically.

"A simple 'no' would have been just fine," he quipped.

"You go." she told him. "I have stuff I need to do anyway."

"Okay." He stood up and she walked him to the door. "See you tomorrow?"

"Sure. If the wife will let you out of her sight."

He frowned. "Ellie, you're welcome to say no if you're busy."

"I'm not. I just don't want to cause any trouble between you and Manny."

He placed a hand on her shoulder. "Tomorrow. Ten o'clock at the Dot."

"Okay."

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The pizza, on paper plates, was strewn across the coffee table and the soda was overturned in cups, dripping onto the carpet. And the movie playing on the television was in its final two minutes, but nobody cared.

Sean's shirt floated to the floor and Emma began tugging at his shoulders to pull him back to her. He complied, and kissed her deeply, eliciting a moan from deep in her throat.

When Sean's hand, previously placed on Emma's hip, began creeping upward and under her top she didn't even notice. But when he began fiddling with her bra strap she tensed instantly.

Sean felt her go rigid and pushed himself up, balancing on his forearms above her. "Em, what's wrong?"

"Nothing."

Sean sat back and took in Emma's appearance. On the outside, she seemed fine. She was flushed and breathing hard, which looked pretty great to him, but her eyes looked anything but. They were big and wide and full of anxiety. His stomach dropped out at the knowledge that he had caused the fear on her face.

"Emma, if you don't want to do this all you have to do is say so."

She sat up and put her hands on his face, rubbing circles on his cheeks with her thumbs.

His hands fell to her thighs. He squeezed them gently, causing her guilt to skyrocket. He was so sweet and understanding. There was nothing for her to be scared of.

"Sean, it really is nothing." she assured him. "I just panicked for a second. I want to do this. Honest."

He looked uncertain so she kissed him softly. Then again on his cheek and his nose before placing another soft one on his lips. He tried to resist her because he wasn't entirely convinced that she truly wanted to, or if it was a case of her just giving him what she thought he wanted.

Unfortunately, he never got the chance to find out.

The doorbell sounded and they both groaned. Sean picked his shirt up off the floor and yanked it over his head on his way to answer it.

"Yo, Cameron. What's up?" Jay held his hand up for a high five, but dropped it at the sight of his friend's face.

"What are you doing here?" Sean's teeth were clenched so tightly, it was a miracle Jay could make the words out.

"Alex said there was a party." He gestured over at her behind him, where she was making her way toward them. It was then that Sean noticed the people streaming in after her.

"Don't throw this on me," she bopped Jay on the arm, "I got it straight from Manny."

"Did I just hear my name?" Manny sauntered up to them, almost spilling out of her obscenely low top while she applied a coat of lip gloss to her already gleaming lips.

The party goers had trickled into the living room, and Emma came to see what was going on. "Why are there thirty people in my living room?"

"How often do your parents leave you alone for the weekend? A party is so in order." Manny explained, smiling at the celebration she had arranged for.

Emma grabbed Manny's arm and drug her into the kitchen while the rest looked on.

"What's with the grabbing?" Manny demanded as she yanked her arm free from Emma's grasp.

"Manny, did we not have a conversation today about my possible plans for tonight?" Emma asked, attempting to keep her voice calm despite the rage she was feeling.

"That was tonight?"

Emma threw her hands up in defeat. How Manny could have concocted this whole thing after their conversation was beyond her.

"I'm so sorry, Em," Manny told her, "I just thought you would plan it for tomorrow. You know, get everything ready, make it all romantic. And it doesn't look very romantic in here right now." She glanced around the room with a dubious expression.

Emma crossed her arms over her chest. "This **is** the kitchen."

"So downstairs …?" Manny inquired. Emma nodded.

"Crap."


	3. Familiar Strangers

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Familiar Strangers

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Emma tried to leave, but Manny took hold of her arm. "Em, I'm sorry," she repeated. "I honestly didn't think you'd be, you know, doing anything tonight."

Emma crossed her arms over her chest. She was beyond livid, and no amount of apologizing was going to change that. "You could have at least called."

"I know. And I'll make it up to you, I swear."

Sean came in, knowing that Emma was upset by the impromptu party, but unaware of the reason. He took in her stance, and the furious look on her face, and decided it was best to get her away from Manny.

"Hey, think I can steal a dance?" he asked, wrapping his arms around her waist. Jay had turned the stereo on, and music was pulsing through the house.

Emma felt some of her anger dissipating. She was upset with Manny, not Sean, and shouldn't take it out on him.

"Okay." She took hold of his hand and pulled him out into the crowd that was already dancing.

Despite the upbeat tune, Sean pulled her close as they began moving. He kissed her cheek softly and she buried her head against his neck.

"Sorry about all this," she whispered softly.

"About what? The party?"

"Yeah, I feel responsible for this. I told Manny that I had no plans for tonight so she just assumed it would be okay," she explained.

"No plans?" he asked stoically.

The coldness in his voice wasn't lost on her. Nor was the question behind it. Sean assumed by her remark that she'd really had no plans for the night. Meaning that what had happened on the couch was a fluke and his doubts were right. She didn't know how to fix it. Sean had always had insecurities about the fact that she wanted to be with him. She had just hoped that after almost six years, not to mention the fact that she had waited for him while he was in jail, would have convinced him otherwise.

"I didn't want to tell her anything until I was sure. You know how Manny likes to gossip," Emma told him hurriedly. Sean's hands had tightened on her waist . It was obvious he was still upset, despite her statement.

"Em, are you sure you're not relieved?" he asked.

She pulled back and stared at him in disbelief. "How can you even ask me something like that?"

"You didn't seem all that into what we were doing," he replied sulkily.

"I just got scared for a moment Sean," she hissed. Their voices had risen and the other guests were beginning to look their way.

She grabbed his shirtsleeve and pulled him out of the living room and down into the basement. The door slammed shut behind them and Emma whirled on him. "You honestly think I'm happy about that up there?" she gestured up toward the ceiling with her hands indicating the party upstairs.

"I think you like having an excuse to not finish what we were doing," he replied. He sat down on her bed and gazed up at her, waiting for her to contradict him.

"I can't even believe you. Sean," she took hold of his hand, "I got nervous. That's all."

"Nervous? Why?" he asked.

"Because I've never …" she trailed off, her eyes going to the floor.

It dawned on him what she was implying and he instantly felt like dirt. He practically jumped off the bed and pulled her to him. "I'm so sorry Em. I wish you had told me."

"I was embarrassed," she admitted, her eyes still fixed on the ground in front of her.

He kissed her softly. "There's no reason for you to ever be embarrassed around me."

She kissed him back, letting her hands tangle in his hair. His arms wound around her waist and they sank backwards onto her bed.

…0...0...0...0...0...0...

Jay had the music turned up so loud the entire house was practically shaking and the crowd was spilling out the front door and onto the lawn.

Craig fought his way through the throng of people, peering over the crowd for Manny's head. He finally spotted her standing near the stairs with Toby and Liberty and made his way over.

"Hey! You're here!" she cried exuberantly, throwing her arms around his neck. She rained sloppy kisses all over his face.

Craig smelled the alcohol on her breath and pulled back. "Are you drunk?"

"Nope," she giggled, "I've only had three beers."

"Maybe you should quit there," he told her and took her cup out of her hand.

"Why? Afraid if I get drunk you'll have to take care of me and you won't be able to spend more time with Ellie? That's where you were, right? With Ellie. That is why you didn't bother to tell me you got into town early. Because you were with Ellie." Manny's eyes were fairly burning with anger and her mouth was set in a tight line. Craig hadn't seen her so upset since the last time she'd gotten jealous over him and Ellie.

"I just dropped by her house. I wasn't even sure if she, or Marco, was home or not." Craig told her, pulling her away from Toby and Liberty closer to the stairs, who were trying to pretend they weren't hanging on every word.

"But you were hoping," she sneered.

Craig grabbed his hair in frustration. "Why are you so hung up on Ellie?"

"Why are you?" she shot back at him. "Seriously Craig, what is it about her that makes you forget you have a girlfriend right here who loves you?"

The anger was one thing, but the tears beginning to form in her big brown eyes were something else. Craig was tired of it. Tired of always hurting her over and over again, each time worse than the last. She didn't deserve it. She deserved someone who could be as devoted to her as she needed, someone who would make her the center of his world.

Craig couldn't be that guy. He had too much at stake in his own life to give her the undivided attention she wanted.

"I can't do this anymore," he whispered, too tired to say it any louder.

"Do what?" she asked.

He gestured between them. "This. Your jealousy and my not being able to give you what you want."

"All I've ever wanted is you." Manny told him, her chin beginning to tremble. "Can't you give me **that**?"

"Not if I have to give up other things or people that I care about," he answered.

"You mean Ellie," she spat viciously.

"If I cut Ellie out of my life just because you tell me to, then what's next? Marco? Joey? My music? I can't do it Manny."

"I would never ask you to do that," she insisted.

He shook his head, running his hands over his face distractedly. "I wish I could believe you."

"So what does this mean for us?" Manny asked her voice tiny and quivery.

"It means there is no us anymore." Craig said, and turned away before he hurt her further.

…0...0...0...0...0...0...

Emma was close to forgetting that there was a crowd of fifty people and growing in her house. Sean's hands were entwined in her hair and his lips were moving over her neck and she was finding it hard to concentrate on anything else.

Then a thud from above brought her out of her haze. "Sean," she whispered.

"Hmm?" he murmured, sliding his hands over her hips and up her ribcage.

She fought back the moan threatening to erupt from her throat. She couldn't let herself give in to him. Not with a house full of people overhead. "Sean." she repeated, a little louder.

He raised his head up and gazed down at her with smoldering eyes. "What?" He brushed a stray hair away from her face, letting his hand trail down her neck.

It was all Emma could do to get the next words out. "Sean, we can't. There's a party upstairs …"

Sean exhaled heavily and pushed himself away from her, a glare in his eyes she had never seen him direct at her before.

"Sean, please don't be mad," she pleaded. She couldn't believe he was getting so upset over this.

"Don't be mad?! Are you serious? Em, every time we get close, you stop. Is it me? Am I doing something to upset you?" He was furious, pacing in front of her.

"Of course not. But there are fifty people upstairs."

"How convenient," he said. "At least we're in a room as opposed to a van."

"What?" Emma asked her voice colder than either of them had ever heard it.

"The Ravine gets pretty crowded too, Emma. But that didn't stop you and Jay, did it?"

Emma blanched as if he'd slapped her. She almost wished he had. It would have hurt a lot less. She couldn't believe that it was **Sean**, of all people, standing in front of her saying these hurtful things.

"You promised that you would never throw that back in my face," she said, her eyes beginning to sting with angry tears.

"And you promised there would be no more drama. And yet here you are, jerking me around again," he said.

She crossed her arms over her chest. "And how exactly am I doing that?"

"You keep sending these mixed signals. You act like you're ready, then you freeze," he stated, pain and anger echoing in his voice.

A tease. That's what Peter had said. And Chris too. It was why they had broken up. She had been too mortified to tell anyone but Manny. And it bothered her that she did it, even if it was unintentional. She pretended she was something she wasn't-made them think she wanted things she didn't. Maybe they were right about her after all.

"I can't believe you're acting this way over something like sex," she said bitterly.

"It's not about sex," he cried, "It's about you not wanting to be with me."

"I am with you!" she insisted. Tears filled her eyes and his figure became blurry in front of her.

Sean shook his head. She didn't get it and she never would. "Whatever Em."

Emma backed away from him slowly. "I've been angry at you before Sean, but this is the first time I really don't like you." With that, she turned and all but ran up the stairs away from him without waiting for a response. Sean sank back down onto her bed, his head falling into his hands. He cursed loudly. He'd screwed up again. Just like always.

…0...0...0...0...0...0...

Ellie groaned loudly, throwing her bag onto the kitchen table. She had just spent the last three hours covering the school chess tournament. She should have listened to Marco, dating her editor was the worst idea she'd ever had. And Jesse reminded her of that every day. When he gave her these horrible assignments as penance for dumping him.

"Hey, El." Marco called. He walked into the kitchen, grinning from ear to ear.

"What's with the smile?" she asked.

"You know Mrs. Noonan across the street?"

Ellie snorted. "The one who thinks you and Dylan are 'just darling' and I'm a tramp for living with two guys?"

Marco laughed. "That's the one. Well, when I got home she rushed over to tell me that I should keep a closer eye on you."

"Why?" She pulled a jar of peanut butter out of the cabinet, scooping a bit out on with finger.

Marco made a face at her. He hated when she did that and she knew it. "Because apparently you were home alone all afternoon with a very 'comely' but 'unseemly looking' young man."

She rolled her eyes. "Unseemly? It was Craig."

"Craig? He's here? And you skipped class? Wow," Marco nodded appreciatively, "It must have been quite the afternoon."

"I know what you're implying, and no." She told him.

"Nothing happened?"

"Besides the picture I sent you, no. Craig and I are just friends. It's time we all accepted that," she told him, wishing she believed it even just a little.

…0...0...0...0...0...0...

Manny just needed to get away for a minute. The party kept on growing, and she felt like she was suffocating. She had seen Emma go outside with Toby, so she decided to just duck into her room.

She paused at the top of the stairs, breathing deeply.

"Manny?"

She peered down into the semi-dark room. There was a figure sitting on Emma's bed, and she walked slowly down a few steps before she realized who it was.

"Sean? What are you doing down here?"

"Emma and I had a fight," he said gloomily. He was on the edge of the bed, hands folded on his knees, looking down at the floor.

Manny walked over and sat beside him on the bed. "What happened?"

"I was an idiot," he stated flatly.

"Sean …"

He shook his head. "I was. I got mad because she didn't want to, you know … because of the party, and then I brought up Jay."

"Oh Sean. You didn't." Manny shook her head.

He nodded glumly.

She placed a comforting hand on his arm. "She'll get over it."

"Manny, I all but flat out accused her of leading me on deliberately. I don't know why I did that," he muttered, shaking his head in disbelief.

"Sean, Emma was just nervous. And my springing this party on her didn't help matters." Manny tried to reason with him.

"I'll be lucky if she ever speaks to me again," he said. "How could I say that stuff to her? Like she was just some random girl I wanted to do. I love her."

Manny took one of Sean's hands in hers. "And she knows that."

"It's just," he broke off, searching for the right word, "after everything … sometimes it's a little hard for me to really believe that someone like her would want to be with, you know, a guy like me."

Manny's heart ached for Sean. One of the things she'd always admired about Sean was the fact that he never let the things that had happened to him get in his way. He went on with his life, accepting what happened and never making apologies for who was. But the knowledge that he was this terrified of Emma not being able to get past the things he had done surprised her and she wanted nothing more than to fix it for both him and her best friend.

"A guy like you? A sweet, caring guy who actually knows the meaning of loyalty. Yeah, you're a real nightmare Sean. " Manny said sarcastically.

He chuckled. "Why do I get the feeling you're not talking about me?"

"Craig just dumped me," she stated flatly. By now the alcohol was almost out of her system and she was beginning to feel the pain setting in.

"Why?" he inquired. "If you don't mind me asking."

"He said he was tired of me wanting him to ignore other things in his life and focus all of his attention on me."

"Wow. I'm sorry." he told her.

"Don't be. It's all a lie. He just wanted a clear conscience when he goes after Ellie. We can't have her labeled a slut like me." Manny said, her words betraying her anger.

"Ellie? And Craig?" Sean's face scrunched into a frown as he thought over the idea of his former girlfriend being involved with Craig. It was hard to reconcile the idea of them together. After what Craig had done to Ash, he was amazed Ellie would ever give him a second look. But it had been a year. Ellie wasn't the same girl whose heart he'd shattered on a beach once upon a time. "That's … unexpected."

"Tell me about it. But I should have known. He's wanted her all along. I was an idiot to ever get my hopes up. Like he would really want to be with me." Her words started out bitter, but ended barely above a whisper.

"Manny," Sean began. She looked up into his eyes. "you're beautiful. And sweet. And you're always there for people when they need you. He's crazy to let you go."

"Even for Ellie?" she asked, knowing that Sean had loved her once.

"Even for Ellie."

A sparkle came into Manny's eyes as she wrapped her arms around Sean's neck. She hugged him tightly. Sean was such a great guy. And if Emma couldn't see that through the foolish things he'd said in anger, then it was her loss.

Sean pulled back from Manny, uncomfortable with the turn this was taking. Manny had let a few tears leak out of her eyes, and they had gotten transferred to Sean's cheek. Gently, she wiped it away with her finger. Sean leaned in to her. Manny was so sweet when she wanted to be, so loving. Craig really was crazy to just throw her away like that.

Sean's eyes were getting darker the longer Manny looked into them. Unconsciously, she began to drift closer to him. Her eyes fluttered shut as her lips brushed tentatively against his.

…0...0...0...0...0...0...

After a long talk with Toby out in the back yard, Emma realized that Sean was just angry and didn't mean the things he'd said. She should have known Sean would never try and insult her like that.

"Jay," she called when she spotted him dancing with some grade ten in front of the fire place, "have you seen Sean?"

"Not since you guys went downstairs," he replied with a knowing smirk.

She rolled her eyes and wove her way through the crowd toward her door, for the first time noticing Craig was there, standing across the room with Spinner.

The basement door was still partially ajar, so it made no noise when she opened it. She made her way down, not stopping until she was only a few steps from the bottom and she froze, seeing that Sean wasn't alone.

He was with Manny. They were both half dressed and were kissing like there was no tomorrow, their hands in places she couldn't even see. She watched Manny's lips move down to Sean's neck, and still she was unable to move. It wasn't until Sean's eyes flickered open and met hers that she found the ability to run back upstairs, ignoring their calls from below.

She cut through the mass of people in her living room, desperate to run away from the heartbreaking infidelity she had just witnessed as fast as she could.

…0...0...0...0...0...0...


	4. Feeling For You

…0...0...0...0...0...0...

Feeling for You

…0...0...0...0...0...0...

"Emma!" Sean yelled.

She pushed past the people crowding around her, desperate to get to the door before Sean or Manny could get to her.

Sean was pushing past the revelers, pulling his clothes back together along the way. Manny was trailing behind him, hastily buttoning her top back up.

Right in front of the door, Emma smacked right into someone in her haste to escape.

"Whoa, Em." Craig put her hands on his arms, halting her movement. "What's wrong?"

Craig's presence provided the opportunity Sean and Manny needed to catch up to Emma. Sean stopped in front of her, and attempted to grab her hand, but she jerked backwards from him and knocked against Craig. He returned his hands to her shoulders to steady her.

"Emma, please. It wasn't what it looked like." Manny said.

Emma looked at her incredulously. She couldn't believe the words coming out of Manny's mouth. "Did you honestly just say that to me?"

"Em, you have to listen …" Sean tried.

"No!" she cried. "I don't. I know what I saw Sean. You two were all over each other."

Craig's mouth dropped open, his eyes flicking between Manny and Sean, taking in their rumpled clothing and mussed hair.

"Didn't take you long, did it?" he asked Manny.

Manny flushed hotly. Sean glared at Craig, stepping closer to him. "Stay out of this."

In doing so, Sean also stepped closer to Emma who was still in front of Craig. She placed both her hands on Sean's chest and shoved him backwards. He stumbled, knocking into Jay who had come to investigate the ruckus.

"What's going on here? You guys are disrupting the party." he complained.

Nobody said anything. All four of them continued to glare at each other, too angry or embarrassed to say a word.

"Whatever." Jay said, going back to the party, but turned back briefly. "Keep it down."

"Em," Sean said quietly, "please, just talk to me. Let me explain."

"There's nothing to explain," she said sourly, "I wouldn't put out so you found someone who would." Her eyes went directly to Manny, whose lip began to tremble.

"It's not like that Em." She said slowly.

"Oh really? Then you weren't about to have sex with my boyfriend?" She yelled the last words, causing someone to turn the music off and everyone to listen to the fight going on in the foyer.

Craig shook his head. Manny would never change. Part of him felt responsible, like Emma's pain was his was his fault. He had broken Manny's heart, again, and she had tried to make herself feel better by throwing herself at Sean, not caring that he was her best friend's boyfriend. And Emma looked ready to just fall apart at any moment.

"Come on," Craig took hold of Emma's hand, "I'm getting you out of here."

Emma looked at Sean, his face the epitome of sorrow and regret. He opened his mouth to say something, most likely another apology. She turned her face away from him, squeezing her eyes together tightly. She didn't want to hear another false defense. So she let Craig lead her outside to his car at the curb.

…0...0...0...0...0...0...

Craig pulled into the parking space, letting the car idle and quit. Emma had been staring blankly out the window ever since they'd gotten into the car. The only movement she'd made was a brief nod when he'd asked her if the hotel was alright. He knew Joey's was the first place Sean and Manny would look for her, and his label had given him money for a room during his stay.

He got out and walked around to her side, opening the door, and took her hand to lead her into the lobby. He got some weird looks from the few patrons loitering around, leading a girl who appeared to be out of it into a hotel in the middle of the night.

She stood almost robotically as he checked in and got the key. Craig noticed the bell boy looking her over, either wondering if she was drugged or merely checking her out. Craig placed his arm around her shoulder, steering her to the elevator.

"Em, you alright?" Craig asked once he got her into the small room. He'd asked for a double, but there weren't any available. He retrieved the extra blankets and pillows from the closet to create a make-shift bed on the floor.

Emma was sitting in the middle of the hotel bed, legs crossed under her, staring down at her folded hands in her lap. She looked up at Craig and his heart broke into a thousand pieces. Her eyes glittered with unshed tears, and the ones she had let fall had left tracks on her red cheeks. He sat in front of her and took her hands in his. They were like ice, and he began rubbing them to warm them up.

"Can I ask you something Craig?" she asked in a tiny voice.

"Of course."

"Are you in love with Ellie?" She searched his hazel eyes for the answer she wasn't sure she wanted.

"I don't know." he said honestly. "I think I could be, if … you know, if we decide to …" he trailed off uncomfortably. Craig didn't feel right talking about Ellie with Emma, not sure how she felt about her given the fact that Sean had loved her once and that he himself had chosen Manny over her.

"Is that what you want?"

Craig sighed. This entire conversation had come out of left field. Emma was still reeling from finding Sean with Manny. She wasn't in any condition to hear that he was crazy about a girl he was fairly certain she couldn't stand.

"I saw her today, before I saw Manny." he told her. "Manny freaked when she found out. We broke up."

"I want to say I'm sorry, but you deserve better." Emma said sincerely.

"Manny's your friend Emma." he said.

"She was." she contradicted. "Craig, if you want to be with Ellie, then you shouldn't let anything stop you."

Craig felt a small smile forming its way onto his face. Emma would always think of everyone else before herself. It was one of the things he loved about her. Even though she was devastated, she was putting his feelings above her own. He wanted to tell her that, but he noticed she had gone silent again.

"Hey," he said, "you okay?"

"No." she shook her head, causing more tears to spill over. "I'm not."

Craig pulled her closer and hugged her tightly. Rubbing her back soothingly, he kissed her forehead. "It'll be okay. I promise."

"How can it ever be okay Craig? Sean **swore** to me that he would never hurt me again. And Manny … she's like my sister." Emma scoffed, pulling back from Craig's embrace. "Some sister. She was going to have sex with my boyfriend. In **my** bed. What kind of a friend does a thing like that?"

She stood and walked over to the window. "I don't know why I expected better from either of them. Sean's broken my heart before. I never should have trusted him again. And Manny always thought he was cute. She did the same thing to you, remember." She turned back to him and it was all he could do hold her gaze. "Right? You were upset about Ashley and she went after you. She didn't care about Ashley then, and she certainly didn't care about me tonight."

"I'm not excusing what Manny did," Craig told her. He came up in front of her and placed his arms gently on her shoulders. "But you know that no matter what happens between you two; Manny would be there in a second if she thought you needed her."

"Yeah," Emma spat bitterly. "Just like she was so worried about me when I was sick that she was ready to just forget about it because she was angry about me over Peter. I was **sick** Craig, and she cared more about her own feelings than she did me."

Her head drooped forward, and her shoulders began shaking with restrained sobs. He pulled her forward and she let go, clutching the back of his shirt as the sobs racked her body.

He let her cry as long as she needed. When she had calmed down enough to pull back, she smiled at him weakly. "Thank you for being here with me. I … I don't think I could do this alone."

Craig pushed a stray hair that had gotten stuck to her cheek back behind her ear. His finger trailed down her cheek and she breathed deeply. She pressed closer to him, wanting the warmth and solidity he was providing. He held her tighter, needing to be there for her as much as she needed him.

He kissed her forehead again, about to suggest they go get something to eat, but one look in Emma's eyes and he stopped before he began. There was a glint swirling in the dark brown depths that he recognized, even though he'd never seen it from her. Not directed at him at any rate.

Emma tentatively raised her hand to his cheek. Craig knew he should stop her. There was a tightening in his chest that told him something was happening. Something that shouldn't be happening.

It was like it was happening in slow motion. Emma's lips, always so pink and smiling, pressed sweetly against his. Her other hand came up, cupping his face gently. Craig allowed his hands to rest in the curve of her waist. He knew he should stop her. She was in pain and just trying to make herself feel better. But the part of him that wanted to rescue her decided to let her use him to help ease the hurt she was feeling.

Things changed when Emma let her hands roam down his back and under his shirt. He made to pull away, but she opened her mouth and deepened the kiss substantially. It was wrong, way wrong, he knew that. But the feel of Emma's mouth moving under his and her slim fingers skating over the skin of his back made him not care and instead he tangled his hands in her hair and directed her backwards toward the bed.

They landed in a twist of limbs and a soft grunt from Craig. Emma's nails were digging into his shoulder blades, first through the thin cotton of his tee shirt, then against his bare flesh. He was loosing himself in the tan of her skin and the taste of her mouth and the scent of her hair as she whimpered beneath him.

Emma buried her fingers in Craig's mop of dark curls. She felt him moan against her throat when she began nipping at his earlobe. This wasn't how she'd intended the night to go. She was supposed to be at home, alone in her bedroom with Sean, immersed in the night she'd planned for so long. But with Craig hovering over her, his dark eyes boring into hers and his expert hands moving over her body in ways she'd never dreamed possible, she was finding it hard to care.

They were falling under, sinking deeper into a moment neither of them wanted to be in or wanted to end and they were powerless to pull themselves out. All thoughts of Sean, Manny, and Ellie flew out the window in the shadows of the desire overpowering them and taking them to a place they were never meant to go.

…0...0...0...0...0...0...


	5. Aftermath

…0...0...0...0...0...0...

Aftermath

…0...0...0...0...0...0...

A car horn was honking in the distance and a door shut loudly close by. Combined, they had the power to rouse Emma from the deep sleep she was in.

She groaned, disoriented, and still exhausted. Rubbing her eyes sleepily, she burrowed her head back down to block out the overabundance of sunlight that shouldn't have been there.

Then began to wonder just why it was there.

Her hand was buried under the pillow, and she drug it out, feeling the unfamiliar sheets and flesh that wasn't hers.

She raised her head off Craig's chest and stared down at him, the events of the night before flooding back to her. Mouths and hands, heat and pressure, skin, so much skin and she began to feel lightheaded.

Craig shifted beneath her. She sat up and studied him lying there so peacefully. She had always thought Craig was good looking. Hell, he was downright gorgeous. The perfect rocker guy slash boy next door plopped down right there in front of her. He had the intense eyes, pouty lips, and ridiculously long lashes that gave him the makings of the next teen heartthrob to adorn the walls of teenage girls all over the country when his album was released.

He always happened to have the heart of her former best friend and a torch for another girl.

Thoughts of Manny and Ellie caused guilt and anger to radiate through her. She had a flash of Manny and Sean locked in an embrace in her room which gave way to a similar image of her and Craig entwined on the very bed she was on right after he'd told her how he felt about Ellie. She felt sick. Jumping off the bed, careful not to wake Craig in the process, she managed to make it to the bathroom in time despite the soreness in her lower body.

Emma wiped her mouth on the back of her hand, leaning against the wall beside the toilet. Movement caught her eye, and she glimpsed sight of her reflection in the full length mirror on the back of the bathroom door. It wasn't a view she found pleasant; she was flushed and sweaty from the exertion of vomiting, naked on the floor of a hotel bathroom after a night that she wished she could take back.

Craig was a friend, only a friend. Ever since her ill fated crush on him back in grade eight, she had never seen him in any other light. Now with the reminiscences of him grasping her hips while he trailed hot kisses from her neck to her belly button it was impossible for her to reconcile her feelings back to a merely platonic place.

And there were other people to consider. She was beyond furious with both Sean and Manny after what they had done, but this was a disloyalty equal to their own. Possibly even larger. She and Craig were just like them.

Manny had been her friend for as long as she could remember, and she had always defended her, but deep in her heart she had always prayed that she would never be like her. She prided herself on her morals and her standards. Now she had done the exact same thing Manny had done all those years ago to earn the reputation she'd been trying to shed ever since.

And Sean would never be able to forgive her. The Ravine was one thing. That hadn't meant anything to her and he knew it. This was different. Craig was someone she was close to. She liked and respected him. Two things she couldn't say about Jay. And more than anything else, Sean would never be able to get past the fact that she had given Craig something she had wanted to give him and couldn't work up the courage to do.

She had to get out of there.

…0...0...0...0...0...0...

Sean sat on the couch and looked down at the carpet, not really seeing it. Instead, the only thing the saw was the anguish in Emma's eyes when she caught him with Manny.

He had done it, but he had no idea why. He couldn't wrap his head around his own actions when they hurt the one person he loved more than anything so badly she'd probably never forgive him. Sean wasn't a cheater. Never once did he ever entertain the notion of straying, even when he was with Amy. Emma meant more to him than he could put into words. The weight of betraying her like that was eating him up inside.

Manny had taken off right after Emma left with Craig. Manny. He was as disgusted with himself about what he had done to her as he was Emma. Yeah, he had been upset but that was no excuse. He had used her.

Manny wasn't the person everyone thought she was. But the night before Sean had treated her like the stereotype harlot she'd been unfairly branded as and he was sick over it. She deserved better than that. Especially from him. Manny had always been nice to him, and never judged him. Been his friend.

She was Emma's friend. More accurately, she was practically Emma's sister and he had come between them. Emma had the biggest heart of anyone he'd ever met. But after what he had done, it would be a miracle if she didn't spit in his face when she got home.

But he was still determined to wait for her. And if she yelled and told him to get out, he would. But he had to know.

…0...0...0...0...0...0...

Craig woke up with the hazy feeling of a good night's sleep still lingering in his bones. He stretched lazily. The last few months of his life had been rough; he hadn't slept so well in a long time.

Half asleep, he rolled over onto his stomach, stretching again, and felt a weak burning sensation behind his left shoulder. He reached his arm as far as he could to feel for what it was. A scratch. So tiny it could only have been made one way.

By a fingernail.

Emma.

He bolted upright, swinging his eyes around. But she wasn't there. There was nothing to indicate she'd ever been there except for the marks on his shoulders and the faint scent of her shampoo on the pillow.

Craig fell back on to the bed as recollections of the previous night rushed over him. He saw pictures in his mind's eye that he now knew were real, and not the acts of an overly vivid dream. Smooth tan thighs beneath his palms. Full lips parted in a silent gasp over the hollow in his throat. Delicate fingers skating over his stomach, making the muscles quiver uncontrollably.

'_I'm an idiot.' _he thought. _'A huge, colossal, monumental idiot.' _

He'd had sex with Emma. That was never supposed to happen. Craig wasn't the guy who got Emma. He wasn't Sean. But Sean didn't deserve her either and so here they were. Having just broken every rule that friends had. And doing a pretty good job of it at that.

The biggest rule he'd broken was the one he wanted to take back more than any other. He'd stolen her innocence. That's what it felt like; stealing. Craig had felt her body's resistance to his presence, but she had urged him to go on and he was helpless to resist those big lipid eyes of hers. So he went on, and took the one thing that he knew in his heart she didn't want to give him.

He had taken Manny's once upon a time and it just made the whole situation that much worse. Manny and Sean's actions were bad enough alone, but the bond between the two girls was about to be irrevocable damaged and it was all his doing. Craig didn't expect to be forgiven for the night before. Sean held grudges, but he loved Emma. And Manny would forgive her so long as Emma returned the favor. He, on the other hand, would be lucky if Emma didn't hate the very thought of him right then, which he expected she did due to her hasty exit.

Craig heard a low beeping coming from the direction of the floor. He knew from the pitch it was a text message and had been sent a while ago. He got up, groaning as he felt the after effects of the night before on his body and retrieved his phone from his pants pocket.

Ellie.

'_Oh God.'_

The time said it was eleven thirty. He was supposed to meet her at ten. He was such a moron. After everything she'd said yesterday, there was no way she would get over this. Not any time soon.

Ellie was the one he wanted. He was almost one hundred percent sure of that. The full hundred when he was with her. And now that he and Manny were finished, there wouldn't be anything to make him feel guilty and conflicted about wanting her. That was if Manny was willing to let go. She had a way of making him think he wanted things other that what he thought. However, he wasn't sure how she would act now that she aware he knew about her and Sean.

Craig chuckled at the irony of it all. Him and Manny. Him and Ellie. Sean and Ellie. Sean and Emma. Now there was Sean and Manny and him and Emma. Every option covered.

"We're quite the incestuous little group." he said to himself, a bitter chuckle escaping his throat. But he knew there was nothing funny about what had happened. He had been so close.

He had come home determined to make it right with Ellie and to really make it work with Manny. She deserved that after everything he had put her through. But one hour in Ellie's company had him questioning what it was he really wanted-who he really wanted. Now Emma …

He had to talk to Ellie. She was the only one who could help him make sense of the disaster he had just created.

Craig dialed her number with record speed. Two rings later, he got her voicemail.

"El … it's me. I'm sorry to flake out on you, but … I really need to talk to you. Call me back. Please."

"_If I weren't on medication," _he thought, _"I would so get drunk right now."_

…0...0...0...0...0...0...

When Manny woke up, she felt the grogginess of crying herself to sleep. Raising her hand to her cheek, she felt the stickiness of dried tears on her face and her eyes were stinging from not enough sleep. She would guess she'd managed around three hours.

Manny hated herself right then. She had done the one thing she knew in her heart Emma would never forgive her for. And for what? She didn't want Sean. She wanted Craig, always had.

But Craig didn't want her anymore. He'd made it crystal clear the night before when he broke up with her. There were times Manny wondered why they even got back together in the first place. Yeah, she loved him. And he claimed he loved her. But no matter how hard he tried, he just couldn't stay away from Ellie no matter how many times she'd asked him to. She ignored it because she was so crazy about him, but maybe her mother was right. Once a cheater, always a cheater.

Only … Craig had never cheated with Ellie. She was certain of it. The knowledge almost made the whole situation that much worse. It made it that much harder to hate Ellie. And she so wanted to. Ellie seemed at times to be sacred to Craig. She was so far above everything in his eyes … how could Manny ever hope to compare?

Sean had a soft spot for Ellie too. They had been over for a long time, but there was still something there in Sean's voice whenever he said her name. A small catch that betrayed how much he cared about her years after he broke her heart. Manny knew it was hard on Emma knowing Sean still cared for Ellie, but she was secure in the knowledge that Sean loved her. He would never cheat on her.

But the night before he did. With Manny, and she despised both him and herself for letting it happen. They were off limits to each other because of Emma and the amount of love they both held for her. They had betrayed her in the worst possible way.

They shattered her trust in them.

Manny had seen how much Sean was hurting over what he had said to Emma, and the thought that he could lose her was eating away at him. Craig's words had cut Manny to the quick and she just wanted to hide from the pain for a bit. They found solace together, but it was tainted; rooted in deceit and treachery, unintentional as it may have been.

Manny would fix it. That was the one thing she was certain of. Because if there was one person in the world she loved more than Craig, it was Emma. And she would not lose her.

…0...0...0...0...0...0...

11:40. Close to two hours late.

Ellie shook her head, disgusted at herself for still being there. She had already called Craig, and he hadn't answered. She should just leave, she knew that. It was the only way she could salvage her pride.

She was at a loss as to why she had even shown up. A tiny part of her had feared he would be a no show. And she was right. Undoubtedly he was curled up somewhere with Manny, basking in the afterglow of their amazing relationship. Being stood up was her own fault for being so helplessly naïve as to think Craig would ever change.

She got up to leave and head to class, and heard a tiny ding from the direction of her pocket. She fished her phone out and discovered a new voicemail. From Craig.

After debating whether to listen or just delete it, her curiosity of the better of her and she brought the phone up to her ear.

He sounded … weird. Wrong. Pained. She hadn't heard him like that since Ash had dumped him. She began to panic. Craig hurting was near to a nuclear explosion. If someone rational didn't get to him soon, there was no way to know what he might do.

But she had a class. So she called one of the only people who could get through to Craig when he got like that.

"Marco, it's me. I just got a message from Craig. He sounds bad, really bad. Find him. Please."

…0...0...0...0...0...0...


	6. When It Hurts

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When it Hurts

…0...0...0...0...0...0...

Craig was just sitting there. Not moving except for the rise and fall of his chest and the sporadic blinking of his eyes.

"Craig?" Marco asked for the third time. After he had gotten Ellie's call, he decided to go search for Craig, only to discover him walking up the front steps of his porch.

He looked up at Marco from his seat at the kitchen table. He still didn't respond, merely shrugged his shoulders.

"Manny really did a number on you, huh?" Marco asked, sitting a cup of coffee in front of him. He had heard that much from Spinner, plus something about Sean and Emma fighting in the middle of the party.

"It hurts yeah," Craig admitted, "but I was thinking about breaking up with her anyway."

Marco raised his eyebrows skeptically. "Really?"

"Yeah. We haven't been … right for awhile now. Everybody could see it," Craig told him. "I wanted to make it work, that's why I came back. But last night … there's no way. Manny just can't trust me."

Marco didn't say anything. All he wanted was for his friends to be happy. But if he were forced to be brutally honest, he would have said that he thought Craig was an idiot for choosing Manny over Ellie to begin with. Hell, he thought Craig was stupid for getting involved with her back in grade ten. But he never voiced that opinion. Just like he chose not to voice it at that particular moment.

"So, what's with the whole 'I just lost my best friend' vibe you're giving off?"

"I think I did. Or I will when she finds out that I..." Craig whispered, his voice cracking at the end.

"Hmm, this best friend wouldn't happen to be about five-three, with red hair and an affinity for black would she?"

Craig looked at him sadly. "If that's your not your not so subtle way of asking if it's Ellie …"

"What could you have possibly done to loose Ellie?"

Craig looked nervously around the kitchen even though he knew they were alone in the house. "Promise me you won't tell anyone what I'm about to say," There was a desperate, almost wild look in his eyes that sent shivers down Marco's spine.

"Whoa, Craig, you … that sounds serious."

"It is."

Marco nodded. "I promise."

Craig released a shaky breath. He looked down at his hands and Marco could tell that whatever it was, he was really ashamed of it.

"I slept with Emma," he said softly, so much so that Marco almost didn't hear him.

"I'm sorry," Marco shook his head in disbelief, "did you just say you slept, as in had sex, with Emma? Emma **Nelson**? The love of Sean's life and Manny's best friend Emma?"

"That'd be the one," Craig muttered gloomily.

Marco stood and started to pace, but stopped and stared at Craig. He opened his mouth, closed it, and opened it again. "Craig," he said slowly, "have you completely lost your mind?"

"No. Emma caught Manny messing around with Sean. Apparently, they were getting pretty hot and heavy. I was trying to make her feel better …"

"I bet," Marco quipped.

Craig stood and glared down at his friend. "You think I'm proud of what happened, Marco? I'm not. I hate myself right now. What I did to Emma was horrible. Unforgivable. And I wouldn't be surprised if she never speaks to me again."

He sank back into his seat, defeated. "Okay," he said, "I'm sorry. And I get it."

Craig nodded by way of understanding and apology for his outburst. Both of them sat back in their chairs, a heavy silence in the air.

"So," Marco said finally, "what makes you think Emma's angry with you?"

Craig sighed, rubbing his hand over his face. "Other than the fact that I slept with her when she was totally heartbroken? Or that she snuck out of the room before I woke up?"

"Its not like you forced her though," Marco said.

"But I still should have stopped her," Craig muttered.

"Why didn't you? I mean, why did you do it?" Marco asked.

Craig faltered for a second. He wasn't really sure himself why, but he knew that he had never meant to hurt her. "I don't know. I just … Emma had just caught the love of her life with her best friend. She was hurting … and she wanted to forget it all. And I wanted to be there for her. Guess I went about it the wrong way, huh?"

Marco shook his head. "I think I get it," he sad. "Emma needed to know that somebody cared about her and wanted her. Someone she trusted."

"I feel like slime," Craig blurted out. "I'm no better than Sean. Actually, I'm worse."

But Craig didn't tell Marco why he was worse. He couldn't bring himself to admit the full extent of what had happened. He was too ashamed to confess just what he had done to Emma, the reason that she would undoubtedly hate him for the rest of her life.

…0...0...0...0...0...0...

The wind whipped Emma's hair violently around her face. She didn't even know how long she had been walking. As soon as she had left the hotel she just started off down the street, and kept going as the sun first broke over the horizon and rose into the sky. She wrapped her arms around herself as if to shield against the outside threats while tears poured down her face. Strangers she passed on the streets stepped around her, trying to avoid the girl walking through Toronto as if she were in a trance.

She was tired and sore. Tired from walking for an unknown length of time and the lack of sleep she had gotten the night before. Sore from the movements she had experienced for the first time that put strain on muscles she never even knew she had. Crying had caused her eyes to sting and burn, coupled with not enough sleep. Her throat was raw from screaming; first at Sean and Manny, then for Craig in the hotel.

She was a mess. Her skin felt sticky all over. Tears and sweat coated her body from head to toe and all she wanted was a shower and to fall into her bed. She wanted to go home, but couldn't face it yet. Her bed would never feel the same to her again. Sean had kissed her on that bed, touched her and she had wanted to make love to him there. Then he had kissed Manny on top of the same quilts, touched her in the same way where she and Manny had shared countless sleepovers.

Her bed, her room, the surroundings that made up her sanctuary from the rest of the world was lost to her know. And Emma fleetingly wondered if they had even seen the candles she had scattered around after Sean went to get dinner ready. Sean hated scented candles; he said they gave him a headache. So she had used unscented ones, lighting them before she went upstairs to make the room more romantic.

But going home was inevitable, and by the time dusk was falling she found herself looking up at her front door. Voices rushed through her head, words and screams and images and she couldn't fight the tears that fell from her eyes.

"_As long as I'm with you then I'm good."_

"_The Ravine gets pretty crowded too, Emma. But that didn't stop you and Jay, did it?"_

"_Em, you have to listen..."_

"_Emma, please. It wasn't what it looked like."_

She sank down onto the steps, clasping her hands to her ears as she vainly tried to block the noise and the pictures, her eyes shut tightly.

"_Come on, I'm getting you out of here."_

"_Are you in love with Ellie?"_

"_Em, we can stop if …"_

"_I want this."_

"_Oh God, I … Craig!"_

Emma sniffled, so lost in her thoughts that she didn't even hear the door open. But she knew it the second Sean stepped out onto the porch behind her. She could sense the sadness and regret emanating from him.

"I know you're there."

"I wasn't sure you were coming back." Sean said. She heard the shuffle of his feet as he walked closer to her. He stopped at the top of the stairs, wanting to sit down beside her and wrap her in his arms, but knowing she didn't want that.

"I was really worried about you. Where were you last night?"

"You don't get to ask me that," Emma answered coldly.

Sean swallowed roughly. He hadn't expected her to run to him with open arms. But then, he hadn't really foreseen a seemingly calm conversation either.

He walked closer, standing behind her. "Can I sit down?"

"It's a free country," she said.

Reluctantly, Sean sat on the steps. But he sat on the next one up, instead of right beside her. He let his eyes roam over her, taking in the tightness of the muscles in her arms, the tensity in her posture. The pain and anger was fairly radiating off of her in waves, but it wasn't all him. Something else was wrong.

"Em," he sad slowly, "did something happen last night?"

"Other than you trying to have sex with my best friend in my bed?" she snapped.

"That was a mistake. A horrible, horrible mistake," he began.

"Mistake?" she repeated in disbelief. "Sean, you **cheated **on me. With my **best friend**."

"I know," he said, staring down at his folded hands in shame, "and I would give almost everything I have to take it back."

"**Almost** everything?"

Sean looked up at her, tears making his eyes shine a darker blue than normal. "There's only one thing I've ever had that means anything to me. Something I won't give up. You."

Emma shook her head, tears spilling over at Sean's words. She wouldn't let him do this to her. She couldn't let him make her forget what had happened and just go back to the way they were. It was too late.

"Don't, Sean. Please … I can't," she broke off, emotions choking her up and she was unable to talk. She stood and walked to the door. Sean grabbed her hand as she placed it on the knob.

"Em, please don't walk away. I … I love you," he whispered.

All Emma wanted to do was turn around and throw her arms around him. She wanted to kiss him and tell him she loved him back and just let everything else evaporate away. Then she remembered the sight of Manny's lips on Sean's neck and the feel of Craig's hands skimming up her back and she knew there was no way that could happen. It would all be a lie and she loved Sean too much to lie to him.

She turned back to him sadly. Emma took in Sean's appearance, from his well-known eyes to his hair to the anguished expression he wore. It was all too familiar and she hated it. They had been hurting each other too badly for too long.

"I love you too, Sean," she told him softly, "but its just not enough anymore."

Silently, she went inside and shut the door behind her. When she heard his footsteps fading down the steps, she leaned heavily against the door, sliding down onto the floor as sobs began to rack her body.

…0...0...0...0...0...0...

Ellie walked into the Dot on her way to the paper. Yeah it was out of her way, but Spinner made her coffee exactly how she liked it.

He was behind the counter, gazing over at something in the corner of the restaurant. She walked up and ordered, making small talk while he poured.

"So how's Craig?" he asked as he handed her the cup.

She fished a five out of her pocket and handed over to him. "Didn't you see him at Emma's party last night?"

"Yeah, but after what happened, I just wanted to make sure he was okay," Spinner said. He handed her the change from her five.

Ellie's brow wrinkled in confusion. She had no idea what Spinner was talking about. Then she remembered how upset Craig had sounded on the phone and that he'd never shown up that morning like he had promised.

"What happened?" she asked, sitting down at the counter in front of him.

"He didn't tell you?" Spinner asked incredulously. Ellie shook her head.

Spinner leaned closer to her and whispered, "He and Manny broke up."

Feeling her mouth drop open, she leaned in closer to him. "Why?"

Spinner shrugged. "Something about Manny being jealous. Then next thing you know, Emma comes through the party screaming at Sean and Manny about something and she took off with Craig."

"Emma left with Craig?"

He nodded, his eyes ticking back to the corner again before settling back on her. "Yeah. She was crying and Manny was crying. Sean looked like a wreck. Craig looked like he was ready to jump him. Whatever happened, it was bad."

The manager yelled at him from the back and he excused himself to go see what he wanted. Ellie sat at the counter, frustrated at her inability to figure out what had happened the night before between Craig, Manny, Emma, and Sean.

Finally, she got up to leave and her eyes fell on the back corner Spinner had been eyeing. Manny was sitting there, staring forlornly into a cup of coffee. Even form a distance, she was practically radiating fatigue and loneliness and regret. Ellie didn't like Manny, never had. First because of Ash, and then for her own reasons. But she knew as well as anyone the hurt Craig Manning could cause and the magnitude of pain Manny must be feeling.

She walked over slowly, already hating herself for getting involved.

"Manny?"

The younger girl's eyes rose, and she shook her head when she recognized the redhead standing in front of her. "I'm really not in the mood right now, Ellie."

"I heard," Ellie told her.

Manny scoffed. "I bet. I'm sure Craig ran straight to you with the news, didn't he?"

"No. I haven't talked to Craig since yesterday. Spinner told me what happened at the party last night," Ellie corrected. She saw a tear trickle down Manny's cheek. It was then that she noticed the coffee in Manny's cup looked like it was hours old. An she wasn't primped to perfection like usual, meaning that Manny had been there for a while.

"What … what did he say … exactly?" Manny asked slowly.

Ellie frowned. There was something Manny wanted to know, but couldn't bring herself to ask, that much was obvious. A cold wind swept through Ellie's stomach at the thought of what Craig might be going through at the moment. Then her thoughts wandered briefly to Sean and she wondered if he was in a similar state to Manny.

"That you guys broke up and that you got into a fight with Sean and Emma."

Manny nodded silently.

"Well," Ellie said, " I just … you know, wanted to make sure you were okay. So I guess I'll go now."

She walked away when Manny gave no more acknowledgement of her presence. She walked outside, flipping open her phone to call Marco. She had to know if Craig was okay.

…0...0...0...0...0...0...


	7. Face It

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Face It

…0...0...0...0...0...0...

Sean felt anger coursing through every fiber in his being. He wanted to ram his fist through something, but knew it wouldn't help. He had just … left. Emma had decided it was over and he had accepted it.

But it wasn't up to just her. And he intended to fight for her.

He had been sitting at the bus stop on her corner for hours after he left her house. Night had fallen and he stared at the lights on the cars whizzing by him, letting them hypnotize him a tad as he debated whether or not to go back.

Laughter caught his attention and he looked up. A couple, no older than fifteen, walked by holding hands and giggling. They were staring into each other's eyes as if transfixed and sneaking little kisses when they thought no one walking by was looking.

Sean felt a tug in his chest. The kids reminded him so much of him and Emma when they were younger. Hell, they even reminded him of them when he got out of jail. That was what he wanted: to be lighthearted and so in love that nothing else mattered when they were together.

Sean had a flash of Emma's face when she saw him with Manny. She'd looked like her heart had literally been ripped out of her chest. And he had done that to her, he was the one that had hurt her so badly. He wanted to give her a knife and let her cut his own heart out to show that he understood the pain he had inflicted on her.

His mind made up, Sean got up to go back and reclaim what he had lost.

…0...0...0...0...0...0...

"Marco?" Ellie called through the house. After she was done at the paper, she hurried home to find out if he had gotten in touch with Craig.

"Hey, El," Marco replied as he came out of the kitchen into the dining room.

"Did you find Craig?" she asked.

Marco's face was set and grim when he heard her words. He loved Ellie so much, she was one of the most important people in his life. And even though she denied it, Ellie was as head over heels for Craig as ever. He could see it every time she mentioned his name. As for Craig- while his exact feelings were still a bit of a mystery, Marco knew he cared about Ellie. His words earlier had proven as much.

"He, uh … he's fine," Marco told her.

Ellie raised her eyebrows skeptically at Marco. "Now say it like you aren't lying."

"El," Marco told her, "Craig's kind of … low right now."

Ellie instantly went on alert. "Is he alright?"

Marco ran a hand through his hair distractedly. "He'll be fine, it's nothing major. He just, he did something stupid and he's feeling the effects."

She felt some of her panic evaporating. "He's okay? Honestly?"

Walking over to put his hands on he shoulders, he nodded. "Craig is fine. I promise."

…0...0...0...0...0...0...

Craig trudged slowly out of the market. After what had happened with Emma, he couldn't stay in that hotel room. So he went back to Joey's who immediately sent him out to get some stuff for dinner.

He walked out onto the street, pointedly ignoring the flirty looks from a group of fourteen years olds standing by the magazine rack, his eyes on the ground in front of him.

Somebody walking down the street smacked into him as he exited. He looked up. Manny.

"Hey," she said uncertainly.

"Hey," he replied, looking down at his feet.

"So, um, about last night … I just wanted to say I'm sorry," she told him.

"Me too," he replied. "I wish it had ended better than that."

"It doesn't have to end at all," Manny said softly.

Craig breathed deeply. He couldn't deal with this right now, not when he was still so screwed up over things with Emma.

"Manny, it does have to. End, that is. I don't …" He took a deep breath to calm his nerves, "I can't keep hurting you. It's not fair."

"I love you, Craig. Isn't that enough to give it one more try?" she asked. "Do you want me to beg?" she yelled when he began to walk past her.

Craig stopped in his tracks, his back still toward her. "No," he said, "I want you to be happy."

Manny walked up and stood directly behind him. "You make me happy."

When he didn't respond she went on. "Is this about me and Sean?"

"It's about me and Emma," he corrected, still not able to look her in the eyes.

"What about you and Emma?" Manny asked. "Did you guys make a pact to hate us or something?"

"We had sex," Craig told her bluntly. Better to just tell her the truth and have her hate him than to go on trying to convince him to take her back knowing she wouldn't want him if she knew the truth.

Manny scrunched her face a bit as she considered his words. Then she shook her head, anger flowing over her features. "That's not funny, Craig."

"It's not a joke."

Manny looked more confused than before, and he watched as the look of understanding gradually took over her face.

"But … Emma and Sean, they were fighting because he thought she didn't want to. She loves him. Why would she … Emma would never loose her virginity on a whim, and definitely not to you. She's not like that. And she wouldn't do that to Sean, to me. You wouldn't do that to me."

He had kept quiet while she was talking, realizing that she needed to do this, to work it for herself so she could accept it.

"Craig!" Manny stomped her foot in rage when he remained silent. This wasn't true, it couldn't be. "Stop it, tell me the truth."

"I am," he whispered.

"You had sex with Emma," she stated, as it finally sank in that he was telling the truth. "How could you do that to me?"

He felt anger rising up inside of him at the implication behind her words. "Manny," he said calmly, "this isn't about you."

"Emma is my best friend!" she cried. "Were you trying to hurt me?"

He shook his head. "No, I wasn't. And as for Emma being your best friend, I'd say she **was**."

…0...0...0...0...0...0...

After three consecutive hours, Emma took her sheets out of the washing machine. Her bed had been stripped the second she managed to pull her herself up off the floor of her living room. The candles had all been thrown away and so had every single photo of Sean and Manny on her bulletin board. It was a little sparse now, but at least the sight of it no longer made her feel like throwing up.

She put the sheets in the linen closet upstairs, pulling different ones out in their place. There was no way she could sleep on the old ones. She walked back down the stairs and saw Sean sitting on the couch. Rage and guilt bubbled up inside of her, causing her to flush angrily.

"What are you doing here, Sean?" she demanded.

He looked up at her, pressing sheets against her chest as if to put a barrier between them, taking in the redness of her eyes and the paleness of her cheeks from crying.

"I want to fix this, Em," he replied softly.

Emma scoffed, her head falling forward from exasperation. "We can't fix it, Sean. You cheated on me with my best friend and I," she cut off abruptly, hoping he wouldn't notice the hitch she heard in her own voice. "Even if I could forgive you," she started, and this time Sean was the one that stopped her.

"Could forgive me?" he asked, "Or would?"

"Could," she said. "It took a lot for me to trust you again, Sean. And you broke that."

He swallowed hard. Emma watched the movement of his throat in a desperate attempt to keep her eyes of his face and the hurt she knew she would see there.

"I know," he whispered. "But I love you."

Emma shook her head, feeling tears welling up behind her eyes once more. "Sean, we've already been through this."

She started off toward her room, and Sean stood to follow her.

"Emma, please. I don't want to lose you," he implored, stopping at the top of the basement stairs while she continued down into her room.

She whirled around to glare back up at him. "You should have thought about that before you kissed Manny."

"I know," he said. "But I was hurt, Emma. I thought you didn't want me."

Emma grabbed her hair in frustration, the sheets she had been holding falling to the floor. She was tired of going through this, tired of having to repeat the same old arguments and defenses to him. She just wanted to move on, whatever that entailed.

"Sean, I don't know how to convince you that I did. I told you, over and over again, that I wanted to be with you. I just … I wanted it to be special, okay? It was my first time."

Sean began walking down the stairs toward her. "I'm an idiot, alright? I know that, I won't argue with you," He reached her and took hold of her hands, pulling them up to his chest. That she even let him do that caused his heart to fill with hope. "Just let me try to make it up to you."

A tear slid slowly down Emma's cheek. She wanted to forgive Sean, so badly she could feel everything inside of her screaming out to just wrap her arms around him and bury her face in his neck, to let it all go. But she knew that could never happen after what she had done.

"Sean," she said, prying her hands loose from his grasp, "even if I could forgive you, there's no way you would ever be able to forgive me."

Sean's brow creased in confusion. "Em, you haven't done anything to forgive."

Sobs rose up from within her, and Sean pulled her to him to keep her from collapsing. "Shh, Em, its okay," he whispered soothingly as he stroked her hair.

Emma clutched at the back of Sean's shirt, holding him as tightly as she could. He was going to hate her, there was no way to avoid it. This would be the last time he would ever hold her like this.

She pulled away reluctantly. "Sean, I have to tell you something."

"What?" he asked, wiping away some of the tears that remained on her cheeks.

Emma wanted nothing more than to lean into Sean's touch like she used to. But she knew if she did she would back down, and he deserved to know the truth. So she backed away from him, hating the way his arms fell away from her.

"You're going to hate me," she said, more to herself than to him.

Sean frowned and felt fear seeping through him at her words. "I could never hate you, Em."

"You say that now," she said but he cut her off by once more taking hold of her hands, squeezing them tightly.

"I say that because its true."

Emma swallowed roughly as a few more tears leaked out. "What if I said I did something so terrible I'm not sure I can forgive myself?"

"You're starting to scare me here, Em," Sean told her.

"I slept with Craig last night."

Emma watched silently as Sean's face drained of all its color, his mouth setting in a grim line. He backed away from her slowly, her hands falling out of his. He was looking at her as though he had never seen her before. It was like the way he had looked at her when he had found out about her and Jay, only about a million times more hostile. His eyes were burning an angry blue that was unlike anything she had ever seen. Everything about him was screaming rage as he turned and walked back up the stairs, slamming the basement door shut behind him.

…0...0...0...0...0...0...


	8. Feel It Deep

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Feel It Deep

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Sean paced the street in front of Emma's house debating whether or not he should go back inside and talk to her.

On the one hand, he was furious with her. She had been telling him ever since they got back together about how their first time together was going to be perfect because it was going to be her first time and how she had always wanted it to be with him. And when they finally got the chance she tensed, he freaked, he cheated, and then she cheated in retaliation.

How had they ended up this way?

Sean remembered when he had first found out about Emma and Jay; he'd been so angry he couldn't see straight at the knowledge that the only two people in Toronto that actually meant anything to him would betray him like that. And the worst part of the entire thing was that it hadn't meant anything to either of them. They didn't care about one another. Hell, they didn't even like each other. And that little detail made the sting all the more potent.

But Craig … Emma liked Craig. She always had. At one time she'd even had a pretty huge crush on him. She considered him a friend … almost extended family even. Their parents' spent holidays together. And then there was the Manny factor.

It was like she had deliberately chosen the most complicated scenario possible.

And the more he thought about it the angrier he became. So he began walking, having left his car keys on the coffee table. He took off in the direction of downtown, knowing the opposite direction of the street, even though he would still be in the neighborhood, would take him by Joey's and if he saw Craig right then he would most likely kill him.

So he walked. And walked. And walked some more until he ended up on the outskirts of the low-rent houses that University of Toronto students rented for proximity and affordability. Being Saturday night, music filled the air and throngs of coeds filled the lawn chair laden lawns up and down the streets. He was partially grateful for the crowd; no one really noticed him or paid him much mind.

He stopped dead in his tracks at the car door being slammed up ahead of him. For some unknown reason he couldn't name, the slam sounded vaguely familiar.

As did the long red hair attached to the driver exiting said car.

"Ellie?"

She turned in his direction, her mouth dropping open in shock at the sight of her ex-boyfriend.

"Sean?"

…0...0...0...0...0...0...

Craig was stretched out on his bed, gazing blankly up at the ceiling. Running into Manny at the store was the absolute last thing he had wanted to happen tonight. As mad as he was at her over her jealousy, he was even angrier with himself for letting it get the point it had.

The look in Manny's all too familiar brown eyes was one he knew well. Too well. Hurt. Pain. Agony. A broken heart that he had caused.

Why did he keep dong this to her? All she had ever tried to do was love him, as messed up as it sometimes made things. Why was that such a bad thing? Why had it just never been enough to make it last?

'_Because it's not enough,' _a voice inside his head whispered.

It wasn't. Love wasn't enough; it never was, no matter what hopeless romantics such as Manny herself liked to think otherwise. It just made the sting that much worse when it all finally imploded around them. But it was all the more bitter that he wasn't a hundred percent sure he'd ever really loved her at all. Not the way he should have. He wanted to, wanted to be that guy that she had built him up in her mind to be since she was thirteen years old.

Pictures stuck haphazardly in the mirror frame over his bed stared back at him when his eyes finally left the ceiling above him. The most recent picture was one of him and Manny taken a few days before he left for Vancouver, all smiles and laughs with their arms wound around each other. They looked so happy … the ideal image of a high school love story. On the opposite side of the mirror, directly across the glass, was the oldest photograph on the surface. Over ten years old, it showed a little boy with dark curls spinning around in the grass with a tiny blonde girl, her lavender dress flowing out around her in the late summer sun. And under it, one a year old of the same boy and girl, all grown up, with another little girl on the sofa between them.

Emma and Manny. As close as they were, they were so, so different. One tiny and dark and … touchable. The other tall and fair and almost untouchable.

But Craig had touched them both. Kissed them both, and been the one to make love to them both for the first time.

How had that happened? How had he gone from a random hookup on a ratty old couch in a frigid garage to a torrid night in a hotel on the outskirts of town?

Torrid. That was a good word. Craig chuckled bitterly. He had thought, once very briefly years ago about what it would be like to kiss Emma. Kendra Mason wasn't the only one who had caught her making out with Sean. And the sight deeply unsettled him. He had never expected Emma to be so … passionate. Especially at that age. It totally took his perception of her to a new place. He'd had this untarnishable image of Emma fixed in his mind until then and the fact that she was actually touchable seemed to shake his world to the core.

The recollection of Emma, tangled up with Sean in the moment that made Craig stop thinking of her as a little girl vied for dominance with the very vivid memory of her writhing beneath him on the unfamiliar bed and he felt every muscle in his body tighten. Instantly, he felt disgusted with himself for allowing the memory to affect him that way. It was wrong … Emma and him, together that way, was wrong.

But he still couldn't shake the memory of the way she felt all wrapped around him or the nagging though of why there was more passion in that one night with Emma than there had been in almost three years with Manny.

…0...0...0...0...0...0...


	9. Collision Course

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Collision Course

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Ellie stood silently in the doorway between her living room and kitchen and stared at Sean. He looked so dejected … broken almost. He hadn't said a word since he'd been there, taking a seat on the couch and proceeding to gaze glumly at the floor.

"Do you want anything to drink?" she asked in a final attempt to break whatever spell he was under.

Sean shook his head and she sighed a little in relief. At least he was listening to her.

Slowly, Ellie walked over and sat on the coffee table in front of him. "Sean, what happened?"

"Have you ever looked around realized that you've just made the biggest mistake of your life?" Sean's voice was rough, raw and pained, and something deep inside Ellie that she had long forgotten twisted sharply.

She placed her hand over his on his knee gently. "Are we talking jail time big or damaging to your mental health big here?"

"Damaging to your heart big," he said.

Elle thought back over the past few years of her life. Everything that had happened between her and Craig, and her Jesse, rushed back to her and she closed her eyes tiredly. "You're asking the wrong person."

"Craig?"

She flinched when Sean's eyes finally rose up to hers, the blue of his eyes no longer as warming as they had been once upon a time.

"What about him?" she whispered.

"Manny," Sean said, "she … mentioned that he …. that you two …"

"No," she cut him off, "Craig and I are just friends."

He gave her a 'yeah right' look and grimaced. "So his and Manny's breakup had nothing to do with you?"

"I haven't talked to Craig since yesterday. I wouldn't know what was going through his mind when he finally came to his senses and dumped her," Ellie snapped and flung his hand away, standing up and heading towards the kitchen.

"You can do better."

His words seemed to hang in the air minutes after he said them causing her to stop short, unsure of what to say to break the tension. Finally, she turned back to him. "You don't get to make that call."

"Emma and I had a fight last night," Sean said and held up a hand to halt Ellie's attempt to interrupt him, "a huge one. And I was upset, I was waiting for her to come back so we could work it out. I … I overreacted, and I just wanted to apologize." A few tears slipped down his cheeks and onto his knees, soaking two tiny spots in the denim.

"Manny and Craig had just broken up, and she came down to the basement to get away from the crowd. We started talking ….and she hugged me," he went on.

A sense of dread filled Ellie slowly at the deep despair forming on Sean's face. "Sean, you didn't," she whispered.

"We stopped," he said, "Emma came down and saw us. I …" he broke off, his words getting choked with tears, "The look on her face. I wanted to die, Ellie. I hurt her like that. How could I do something like that to her? After everything she's …"

Sobs erupted from Sean, deep, all the way from the heart sobs and Ellie rushed over beside him and hugged him tightly. She felt a corresponding tears of her own slide down her cheeks and onto Sean's shoulder.

"She'll forgive you, Sean, she will," Ellie assured him. "She loves you."

"That's not all," he stated in a low voice.

'_Not all?' _Ellie wondered. What else could there possibly be?

"Emma left the party with Craig," he told her and she remembered Spinner telling her the same thing.

The sorrow that Sean had been feeling was beginning to subside, and all too familiar look of pure, unadulterated rage taking over his features. "I was glad at first she was with him. Craig and Emma, they've always been friends, you know? Practically family. I was hoping he'd be able to calm her down. If anybody understands a lapse in judgment like that it's Craig, right? But he didn't talk her down. He … they …. "

Ellie returned her hand to the top of Sean's own, squeezing tightly.

With a deep breath, Sean steeled his courage. He could tell from the look in Ellie's eyes earlier that Manny hadn't merely been paranoid. There was something between Craig and Ellie and it went deeper than she was willing to admit. Maybe even more than she knew.

"Emma and Craig slept together," he told her, and watched in dismay as her face crumbled.

…0...0...0...0...0...0...

"Honey, are you alright?"

Emma looked up at her mother's voice, seeing concern etched across her features. She nodded. "I'm fine," she assured her when all she really wanted was to tell her what had happened and let her make it all better the way she had when Emma was little.

Even though Spike didn't believe her, she dropped it, figuring it had to do with why Sean's stuff was missing from the living room and why there had been a noticeable lack of contact from Manny.

The phone rang and Spike got up to answer it causing Emma to breath a sigh of relief. Ever since her parents had gotten home earlier that evening they had both been all over her to tell them what was wrong.

'_Guess that concealer and Visine didn't help,' _she thought bitterly.

"That was Joey," Spike said as she came back to the couch, "He and Angela are coming over for dinner tonight."

Emma felt a lump rise up in her throat at the idea. "Is … is Craig coming?"

Spike apparently didn't hear the catch in her voice and shook her head. "Joey didn't mention it. Is he in town?"

Not feeling able to speak, Emma merely nodded.

"Oh," her mom said, "then I'll call Joey and tell him to bring him. I want to hear all about Vancouver."

She patted Emma's knee, who offered up a weak smile in return, and went to call Joey back.

…0...0...0...0...0...0...

Joey walked into Craig's room, not even bothering to knock due to Craig's recent funk.

"There's this new thing, before you enter a closed door, it's called knocking. You should really try it sometime," Craig quipped from his bed.

"Ha, ha," Joey said dryly. "Are you okay?"

Craig contorted his face into a huge fake smile. "Peachy."

Joey shook his head. Trying to figure out Craig's latest drama, which he assumed was Manny induced, had proven fruitless thus far and he was through trying for the moment.

"We're going over Spike's for dinner," he told him, "get up."

Craig shook his head quickly. "No, I don't feel up to it."

"Are you sick?"

Again, Craig shook his head.

"Then you're going," Joey announced and headed for the door.

Craig sat up. "Joey, please, I **really** don't want to go."

"Spike asked specifically for you to come. She wants to hear about recording and everything," Joey explained.

Craig groaned inwardly. He hated to disappoint Spike, but the thought of sitting across the dinner table from Emma … he wasn't sure he could do it. Not yet.

"Tell her I'll come by later. Tomorrow, maybe. I just … not tonight," he implored. Off Joey's opening his mouth to refuse, Craig pleaded further, "Please, Joey."

"Fine," Joey sighed and left Craig's room.

Flopping back on his bed, Craig thought back once more to the previous night. Seeing Emma right then was a bad idea; every molecule in his body told him as much. The memories were still too new, too vivid. And in the silence of his bedroom the truth hit him straight in the gut.

He couldn't see Emma yet because he was afraid the night before hadn't been merely a fluke. And he wasn't ready to face that possibility.

…0...0...0...0...0...0...


	10. Where There's Smoke

…0...0...0...0...0...0...

Where There's Smoke

…0...0...0...0...0...0...

Marco knew something was wrong when he walked into the kitchen and saw the freezer door open, showcasing that both cartons of Ben & Jerry's Phish Food was gone.

He dropped all of his books on the table, dashing up to Ellie's room to find her in her closet, pulling boxes down and tossing the contents onto the floor.

"El?" he questioned and dodged a stray sweater that came down with the boxes. "Whoa, what happened?"

"Guess who I ran into tonight?" she asked. She didn't wait for him to answer however, she answered herself. "Sean, that's who. I was coming home from a lecture and there's Sean Cameron walking down my street like it's no big deal."

Marco nodded. Sean was a hot button for Ellie; it was no surprise seeing him would upset her. "Did he say something?"

"Oh, he said plenty," Ellie said.

"Like …?"

Ellie stopped what she was doing and turned to Marco, giving him full view of the puffy eyes from an hour of crying. "Craig slept with Emma."

Saying the words aloud made it all the more real to Ellie, and she covered her mouth with her hand to stifle the sob that threatened to break free. Marco had his arms around her in a second, murmuring soothing words into her hair.

"You knew, didn't you?" Ellie pulled back, wiping at her eyes distractedly, and stared at him hard. "That's the stupid thing he did. And you wouldn't tell me because I …"

"I knew you would be upset," Marco cut in hastily. "Emma's always been a sore spot for you, with Sean and everything, and now this … I just didn't want to upset you."

She hugged him again, burying her face in his shoulder. "Thank you. But I wish you had … maybe then I wouldn't have eaten my weight in ice cream." Ellie sighed in exhaustion, she was so sick of all the drama.

"Why did it have to be Emma?" she wondered aloud, her voice more tired than Marco had heard in a long time.

"Are you okay?"

Ellie shook her head. "No, I'm not okay, Marco. When I heard that Craig and Manny … I kind of thought, you know, maybe when they … that we could …" She broke off, getting choked up once more and was unable to continue.

"I know," he whispered.

"Did … did he say why?" she asked, even though she wasn't sure she wanted to know.

"Something about Sean and Manny … he didn't really go into specifics."

Ellie pulled away again. "Why are you lying to me, Marco? What? Is Craig in love with Emma now?"

Marco sighed sadly, rubbing a hand over his face. "He …he's confused, El," he finally said, thinking back to all the things Craig had said that afternoon and the way he had not said something that was obviously weighing heavily on him.

"So he has feelings for her?" Ellie asked, but wasn't sure she wanted to know the answer.

"I think that's something you need to ask Craig," Marco told her.

…0...0...0...0...0...0...

Ellie knocked on Craig's door later that evening. She heard a groan from behind the door and assumed she'd woken him up. She knocked again, louder and called out to him, "Craig, open up."

A faint shuffling was heard from inside and then Craig swung the door open. He was bleary eyed, and rosy cheeked from sleep and so adorably rumpled that all Ellie wanted to do was fall into him and never come out.

"El, hey, what's up?" he asked with his voice still husky.

"I just talked to Marco," she stated simply, hoping that he would read between the lines and she wouldn't be forced to actually say it.

"Okay," he said. It was obvious he didn't get it, and he stood back to let her walk in his room.

"Yeah," she told him, "he told me you were pretty upset."

"Manny and I broke up," he said, clearing clothes off his desk chair so she could sit down. She followed him into his room.

"I'm sorry."

He looked at her from his perch on his bed. "Are you?"

"If you're hurting, of course I am," she said sincerely.

"Sorry, I just … I know how you feel about Manny," His eyes were fixed on the floor. She was glad, because she wasn't sure she could handle hearing him say the words, and the meaning behind them, if she had to look into those eyes she knew so well.

"Yeah well, it's not about me," And it hurt to say that because there was an underlying truth in her words that neither needed to voice to know; for Ellie, everything was about Craig and he knew it.

The silence filling the room was deafening and they both felt it pressing down on them and what was filling it in the other's minds. Ellie wondering if he was feeling guilt for what he did and Craig terrified that she could find out.

"So …" she said finally, "do you want to talk about it? Or anything?"

"Nah. I'm good," he shrugged.

Her eyebrow quirked in suspicion. "Really?"

"Yeah. We all knew it was going to happen sooner or later."

"Then I guess I'll go," She stood, slinging her bag up on her shoulder, pausing to give him the opportunity to tell her.

"Okay," Craig stood up to walk her to the door.

She stopped and turned back to him before the door shut. "Craig."

"Yeah?"

The anger boiled up inside her, and before she could stop it, her hand flew up and smacked him as hard as she could in the side of his head.

"Ow! Damn it Ellie, what was that for?" he demanded.

"What was that for?" she cried in disbelief. "Craig, you slept with **Emma**. What the hell is wrong with you?!"

"Shh!" Craig hissed. He grabbed her arm and yanked her back in his room before Joey or Angie could overhear them, not sure if they were still there or if they'd already left for dinner.

"Did Marco tell you?" he asked, pacing around the room, running his hands through his hair nervously.

"No, he didn't. **Sean** did," she told him.

"She told him," he whispered, sinking back down onto his bed. His voice was hoarse and raspy. No doubt he was wondering just how Sean was going to act the next time he saw him.

"Don't worry," she said, "Sean's not waiting outside to punch your face in."

She saw Craig's shoulders visibly relax. "How mad is he?"

"About as can be expected," Ellie told him. She sat beside him on the bed, placing a comforting hand on his arm. "But I think he's more upset at himself. He thinks it's his fault that Emma was with you in the first place."

Craig shook his head. "No. I should have known better. Emma was hurting … I took advantage of her."

"Craig," Ellie took his hand in hers, "you were hurting too."

"Emma was devastated. I should never have …" He stood abruptly, pacing again, the movements jerky and erratic. "God Ellie, this is killing me."

"It's called guilt Craig."

He shook his head emphatically. "No. It's more than that. I just can't believe I did that. I mean it was **Emma**. How could I do something so horrible to someone so pure?"

Ellie bit back the retort about to spring forth from her lips. Jay had a big mouth, especially when he was drunk. Or mad. She had serious doubts about Emma's so called 'purity.'

"El," Craig said softly, "it was her first time." He sank to the floor with his head in his hands. He looked dangerously close to crying.

The full weight of what had happened finally dawned on Ellie, and she went over and sat next to him, her arms going around him and her own feelings becoming insignificant in comparison to his. He was so broken, all she wanted was to protect him from the world and everything in it that had the power to hurt him. She pulled him closer, his head falling to her shoulder.

"I'm sorry," she said again. But this time he knew she was sorry for his pain, the pain he felt over that he thought he had caused.

"She was so … wounded," he whispered. "God, I hated Sean right then. I wanted to kill him. And I began to believe all those things people have been saying about Manny all these years. If you could have seen the pain on her face…"

Ellie felt tears beginning to well up in her eyes. He was aching so badly and she hated that there was nothing she could do to help him.

"All I wanted to do was be there for her. To make the pain go away. But instead of fixing it, I just ruined everything."

"It's not like you intended for it to happen. Right?"

"Of course not. I think of Emma like a sister. Sort of. But then she looked at me with those big eyes of hers, and when she kissed me …"

"I don't need a recap thanks." Ellie interjected.

He sighed deeply. "I just wish there was a way to fix this."

"Craig," she said, feeling her heart break all over again, "I don't know if you can fix something like this."

…0...0...0...0...0...0...

After leaving Ellie's, Sean resumed his wandering around downtown Toronto and eventually ended up at the Dot.

He knew he would sooner or later. He had been wandering a lot the past few days, and eventually the Dot was bound to cross his path. He'd been all over most of the rest of Toronto. It was inevitable.

As was the chance of running into either Emma, Manny, or Craig.

And a tiny part of him was really glad it was Manny.

She was sitting in a back corner both, staring forlornly into a coffee mug and ripping napkins into tiny pieces without even seeing to notice.

Sean approached her the way someone would a skittish deer in the wild. Sudden movements or loud noises were out as drawing attention to himself could scare her off and then they'd never fix anything.

"Manny?" he sad softly when he reached her table.

Her big brown eyes looked lackluster and listless when they meet his and he was amazed that these were the same eyes that had once squealed in delight over him and Emma merely going to an afternoon movie.

"Hey, Sean," she replied as if on autopilot.

He fought back the urge to snort at her lack of enthusiasm and without waiting for an invitation, he pulled at the chair opposite her and sat down.

Manny eyed him warily, seeming to gauge just exactly what he was up to.

Looking over her mildly disheveled clothes and un-Manny like messy ponytail, Sean decided it was best to ease into this. "You okay?"

"Fantastic," she replied with a sarcasm that would have made even Alex proud.

"Okay," he muttered under his breath.

Manny raked her eyes over him in search of traces that he knew about Emma and Craig. But she wasn't entirely certain just what she was looking. It wasn't as if he would be wearing a sign to proclaim his anguish the way she felt she was.

"You know," she told him, "this is the second time I've been here today. I left earlier, and ran into Craig."

An ugly, dark look came into Sean's eyes and she felt the irrepressible desire to shudder at the meaning behind it.

"You know, huh?" he said slowly, more of a statement than a question.

"I think he told me just so I'd be sure there was nothing left between us. What kind of girl wants a guy that screws around with her best friend?" Manny said.

"You," Sean retorted.

Heaving a heavy sigh, Manny closed her eyes against the tears welling up. He was right, they both knew it. Actually declaring it wasn't necessary.

"Like you don't still want Emma," Manny said, and winced at how much more vicious it sounded than she had intended.

"Of course I do," Sean replied even though his tone implied he really meant 'duh' but was too nice. "But it's over."

Manny arched an expertly arched eyebrow in skepticism. "Really?"

"Emma had sex with Craig. I can't get past that," Sean told her.

"Can't? Or won't?"

He flashed back to him saying those exact words to Emma earlier that evening. At the time he had wanted nothing more n the entire world than to have her forgive him.

But now he knew the feeling of having the person you love shatter you very soul with betrayal.

"Both. Emma and me, we're through."

…0...0...0...0...0...0...

Emma rolled her eyes at Spike's never ending questions about Craig. If she had known it was going to be like this she would have gone along with the fake sickness she had planned when she thought Craig was coming over.

"I hope he feels better soon," Spike said.

Emma pushed her casserole around on her plate out of sheer boredom and a tiny little bit of guilt that she couldn't explain when she looked at Joey.

"Emma?"

She started and glanced at her mother who was sporting a concerned expression. Then she noticed that the conversation around the dinner table had died, four pairs of eyes intently trained on her.

"What?"

Frowning, Spike handed an empty plate over to her. "I just asked you to make a plate and take over to Craig."

Fear and panic gripped at Emma the same way it had before her anxiety attack the year before. She couldn't see Craig yet … it was too soon, too fresh.

But if she refused, undoubtedly they would want to know why. What was she supposed to say? That she couldn't face him because she too embarrassed about the fact that she had lost her virginity to him the night before while she was mad at her boyfriend for fooling around with her best friend? It took much out of her to even say think it, let alone say it.

"Um," she croaked, "if he's sick I don't want to bother him."

"It's okay, he's just tired more than anything," Joey told her. "Life on the road and all."

Spike and Snake both chuckled along with him and Emma could almost see images of dive bars and groupies running through their minds.

"Go on," Snake said, "You two can catch up without the adults around to nag you with all of our nosy questions."

This met with more lighthearted laughter and Emma cringed inwardly. Seeing no other choice, she took the plate from her mother and began to fix Craig a plate.

Emma walked slowly to Joey's house, contemplating ways to disappear off the face off the earth without ever actually leaving her own street. She knocked quickly and loud and waited only a few seconds before seriously considering just going back home when the door opened. She had been facing the street, and the moment she swung around and met Craig's eyes caused her heart to jump into her throat.

"Hey," she croaked.

"Emma, hey," Craig said. He shuffled his feet uncomfortably. "So, um … how are you?"

"I'm fine. My mom sent this over," she held the plate out toward him.

He looked down at the plate in surprise. "Oh. Um, tell her thanks for me."

"Sure," she replied. She turned to leave, but he called after her.

"You hate me, don't you?"

Emma stopped in her tracks. "No," she answered, "I don't." She couldn't look at him, she was too afraid he would see the loathing in her eyes. But it was self loathing and him knowing that would be even worse.

"Then why won't you look at me?"

She turned toward him reluctantly. Her eyes still downcast she said, "Because I hate myself."

When her eyes finally raised up to meet his, Craig felt his heart constricting. She regretted it, just like he knew she would. He didn't know why he had ever allowed himself to consider otherwise.

Craig wasn't in love with Emma. And he wasn't deluded or arrogant enough to think that she was anywhere close to in love with him. But the idea that their night together was nothing more than a mistake in her mind hurt.

Craig had been standing in the doorway while she spoke. Now he stepped backward and held the door open. "You wanna come in?"

She nodded and walked past him, giving off a whiff of her vanilla shampoo. Memories began to flood through him. Memories of that night, images of Emma he wasn't supposed to have. Craig wasn't supposed to be the one who knew what her mouth felt like against his jaw line. The way her voice sounded whispered in his ear. How her skin tasted beneath his lips. And he definitely was never meant to be the one who knew the glazing of her eyes when she reached her peak. Thinking about it even now made him feel dirty.

"So, um …" he stammered as he took in her standing in Joey's living room, hugging her arms around her thin frame like she was trying to protect herself from him. The very notion made his stomach drop.

"Are you okay?" he finally asked. Off her silence, he went on. "I mean, are you … hurting… or anything?"

"Not physically," she said bluntly.

Craig nodded. He deserved that and he knew it. "For what it's worth, I'm sorry."

"Me too," she sad softly.

"Em," he set the plate down on the coffee table with little regard to the food spilling over and grabbed her hands in his own, "you have no reason to be sorry."

"I'm just as much at fault as you are, Craig," she told him. "I don't need you to shoulder the blame to protect me. I'm a big girl, I can handle it."

"Handle what?" he asked, almost afraid to know the answer. With Emma you never really knew what you were going to get.

Emma had moved to lean against the back of the couch, her arms still crossed over her chest. He mimicked her posture subconsciously, sitting beside her and both of them eying the photo of the two of them with Joey the previous summer at Spike's birthday party.

"I'm not the victim here, Craig," she said, "We were both upset and I wanted you, too."

The confirmation, as unromantic as it was, that Emma had in fact wanted him made him feel oddly validated and his heart ached for just what she had lost on the whim.

"But it was your first time," he whispered and saw her flush in embarrassment out of the corner of his eye. "Don't tell me that's the way you wanted it; with a guy you don't love in a cheap motel room after having your heart broken."

"Of course not, but it happened and I'm not sorry."

At the words he never expected to hear, Craig finally looked up at her. "You're not?"

Emma shook her head. She wasn't, as unlikely as it seemed. A part of her wished her first time hadn't been so random and messy, but the fact that it was someone she cared about as much as she did Craig … she couldn't regret that.

"It was just so …" she went on, "unexpected. I've never felt that way about you before, my little crush aside."

"Me either," he confessed.

With no warning, Emma placed her hands on Craig's face and pulled him into a deep kiss, pouring everything she had into it.

Craig kissed her back just as passionately, only breaking away when the need for oxygen became an issue.

"That was … wow," Craig mumbled.

"Yeah," Emma sounded even less enthused than he did and he glanced at her warily.

"Em, did you …" She looked at him questioningly.

" … feel anything?" he finished.

She shook her head. "Nothing. It was like kissing my hand or something."

"Me too," Craig released a deep sigh and sat on the back of the couch, Emma standing in front of him. "This is weird."

"Tell me about it," she replied. "I don't get it. Last night was …" she trailed off, searching for the right word.

"It was amazing," he supplied with the images still fresh in his mind from touching her again. As much as he'd felt the night before, he was floored there was no spark now.

"Yeah," she agreed. "So why wasn't it just now?"

…0...0...0...0...0...0...


	11. Get Out Of My Head

…0...0...0...0...0...0...

Get Out Of My Head

…0...0...0...0...0...0...

"So how does a movie sound?"

Emma arched her eyebrow. "A movie? As in a date?"

"Not a date. Friends hanging out. Like we used to," he explained.

Emma stood from the couch and walked a few steps, turning back to face him. "I'm not sure we ever went to a movie, just us, before. And I'm really not sure it's a good idea."

"Why?" he asked. "Afraid I'm gonna jump you the second the lights go out?"

She grinned devilishly. "Are you?"

"Nope. Not unless you want me to," Craig told her, being sure to coat his words with an abundance of sincerely.

Emma shoved playfully at his arm. "Perv."

Craig stood, stretching his arms over his head to rid himself of the last of his nap-induced stiffness, and smiled at her. "Be nice, Ms. Nelson. This happens to be a bonafied offer of platonic just friends evening activity. Complete with pre-show milkshakes at the Dot."

"Milkshakes?" Emma couldn't fight her ever growing smile. This was the Craig she knew; charming, fun, sweet.

"I'll even spring for extra butter on the popcorn," he added mischievously.

"I don't like extra butter, Craig," Emma said slowly, "you do."

He shrugged. "So?"

With a roll of her eyes, Emma held her hand out to him. "If we're going, let's go."

"Just don't dismiss the extra butter. It's good!" He implored as she drug him out the door.

…0...0...0...0...0...0...

"So how does a movie sound?"

"Are you serious?" Manny asked.

Sean shrugged noncommittally. "Why not? We're both obviously free tonight," he gestured between them at the same table they'd been sitting in for over an hour. "And it beats sitting around the Dot doing moping about Craig and Emma."

"You just had to mention them, didn't you?" Manny snapped.

She resumed the gazing into her coffee cup that she had been doing before Sean showed up, and it hit him how hard she was actually taking the situation. Sure, he was hurting too. He loved Emma. Always had. And as much as it had hurt, he had lived without her before and was fairly certain he could do it again and with minimal damage. Manny however, looked ready to break at the smallest provocation.

Sean slid his hand over hers on the table, cupping her smaller one gently. "Manny," he whispered, "you can't sit here drinking cold coffee forever. You have to move on."

"Move on? Sean, it happened last night," Manny cried. "How can you be so calm about all of this?"

Sean wasn't calm. Not even close. The idea that Emma had let Craig touch her like that … it made him want to slam the musician's head through the nearest brick wall. Everything in him was seething a blistering rage he'd never known before and it scared him how much he was hurting. But Manny was falling apart in front of him and she needed him to be strong for her.

"Because I have to be," he told her sincerely.

The bell over the door jingled, pulling Manny's eyes up. Sean watched as the color drained from her face, her mouth setting in a grim line. He turned to see what had her so upset and his eyes fell upon Emma and Craig walking into the Dot together.

They were … laughing. Smiling. Touching each other in innocent, playful ways the way you would a friend that you felt complete comfort with. Shoulders brushing against the others. Hands absentmindedly skimming over backs and arms. Fingers pushing errant locks of hair out of eyes. But there was nothing in the actions to suggest anything other than a merely friendly relationship. The good natured tussling of Craig's hair on Emma's behalf showed none of the motivations that Sean would have thought they would. No tension, no awkwardness, no obvious displays of romantic notions. The way she did it … it was the way she would behave with Jack.

And the realization made Sean's already elevated temper reach it's boiling point. That they had the audacity to go out together, to a place they knew their friend hung out, like it was no big deal hit him square in the pit of his stomach like a heavy fist.

"So much for calm," Manny's voice jarred him out of his reverie. "If you were a cartoon there would be steam coming out of your ears about now."

"Like that," Sean jerked his chin towards their exes at the counter, "doesn't bother you."

"You have no idea," she whispered. A lone tear slipped down her cheek and Sean's anger, even though it hadn't subsided, renewed itself. It was bad enough that Emma and Craig had done this to him; he could accept it after what he had done. But Manny … she didn't deserve this. Emma might say she was just as guilty as he was, but she wasn't. Sean could have, should have, pulled away at any time and had chosen not to.

And Ellie … She was just as hurt as Manny and he were. Maybe even more so being that she had lost, well, Sean didn't know what she had lost since she had never gotten the chance to find out. But that didn't squelch the fact that she was just as devastated.

Manny's hand found it's way to Sean's arm. He broke his gaze away from the couple at the counter and found hers. She looked like she knew exactly what he was thinking. Shaking her head, she leaned over to whisper to him, "Don't, Sean."

He shook her hand off and bolted out of his seat, making a beeline for where Emma and Craig were talking to Spinner. Emma turned as he approached. Whether she had heard him coming, or merely sensed him, Sean wasn't sure. The only thing he was sure of was that she had the grace to look more than a little guilty to have him see her with Craig.

"You two have a lot of nerve," Sean said.

"Oh really?" Craig asked. "What about you?"

Emma followed Craig's eyes to the back corner table to where her best friend … no, scratch that. To where her **former** best friend sat with her big brown eyes fixed trained intently on her.

"Guess you're moving on then," Emma remarked. "Just so you know, it won't last. It never does with Manny. No one can measure up to Craig for her," she told Sean acidly.

"Apparently she's not the only one," he snapped. Leaning in closer to where only they could hear him, he said bitterly, "I hope it was good."

"Oh, it was," Emma assured him. "I'd be more than happy to give you all the details."

She watched as Sean's face turned stony, and reddened in anger. A retort was forming in his head, so she decided to beat him to the punch, make him so angry he would just leave. "But maybe I'll just leave that to Manny."

Hearing her name, Manny bolted out of her seat and headed over to stand beside Sean. "Whatever you're saying, just stop it. I don't want to see either of you ever again."

"Singing a different tune now, eh? Enjoy it while it last man," he shot at Sean.

"Hey, what's going on over here?" Spinner rushed over to inspect the situation after a customer complained about the noise from their elevated voices.

"Why don't you ask the cheaters?" Manny stated, her arms crossed over her chest and eyes fixed again on Emma.

"The word is 'me,' Manny," Emma replied just as coldly.

"I'm not the cheater here," Manny's voice was more passionate now, and growing louder with every word.

"Guys …" Spinner began, prompting both girls to tell him to shut up. He held his hands up in defeat and backed away.

"Sean was my boyfriend, Manny. Mine. It's not enough that you have every other guy in the world panting over you, you had to have mine too. Why?" Tears were welling up in Emma's eyes and Sean began to take a step forward, his every instinct telling him to comfort her. But the sight of Craig's hand moving to the small of her back had him freezing where he stood.

"I guess for the same reason you had to steal the only guy I've ever loved even though you already had someone that loved you," Manny told her. Her eyes shot to Craig, but he couldn't bring himself to return her gaze.

"I want to leave. Now," Emma said abruptly, grabbing Craig's hand yanking him towards the door. She threw a glance back at Sean over her shoulder before letting Craig put a comforting arm around her shoulder, bringing her body closer to his.

"Why didn't you say anything to her?" Manny demanded. "After what she did …"

"Probably for the same reason you didn't say anything to Craig," he told her. Taking a deep breath, he turned to face her, not able to stare at the door any longer. "So, about that movie?"

"Tell me you're kidding?"

Sean stepped back as though she had slapped him. "Why not? We were going to before …" He broke off when Manny shook her head.

"Sean, we can't happen," she whispered. "We'd be no better than them."

"This isn't about them!" he cried. The level of conversation died down, causing Sean to clear his throat uncomfortably and lean into her.

"Then stopped looking over at the door," she hissed. "I'm not going to be a stand in for Emma. If you still want her, Sean, then go tell her. And leave me alone."

He placed a hand on her arm when she turned to leave. "Manny …"

"You're a great guy, Sean. I meant that. But … Emma loves you. She may not be my favorite person right now, but I love her. And so do you. We would just be …"

"A mistake," he supplied for her.

"Yeah. I'm sorry." She kissed his cheek chastely and left. The door opened from the outside when she put her hand on it and Sean watched as Marco walked in, chatting on his cell phone. The two exchanged greeting before the older boy's eyes feel on Sean. Snapping his phone shut abruptly, he made a beeline for Sean at the counter.

'_Just what I need right now.'_

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	12. Beating Hearts

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Beating Hearts

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'_Just what I need right now,' _Sean grumbled inwardly when Marco made a beeline for him. He turned his back when the dark haired boy came to a stop beside him and picked up a candy bar from the counter, heading over to the register to pay for it. "Just don't, Marco." He thought briefly about adding 'please' but dismissed the notion quickly. True, it would have driven his point home, but it was weak and wimpy and that wasn't Sean-not unless it came to Emma at any rate. She did that to him.

It was the only thing he had ever hated about being with her.

"Oh, I am," Marco replied, side stepping around to stand in front of Sean whenever he tried to walk away.

Sean finally grunted in frustration. "In case you hadn't noticed," he snapped, "this is not a gay bar and I like chicks. Can we stop dancing now?"

"Was it really necessary to tell Ellie about Craig and Emma?" Marco demanded. The deliberate snub of Sean's insult wasn't lost on him and despite everything he admired that Marco could do that. Had it been the other way around, it most likely would have turned physical.

He fixed an icy stare on Marco. He had never really cared much for the other boy-tolerating him only for Ellie's sake while they had been together. But he and Ellie had been over for a long time and therefore he no longer owed him that courtesy. "She had a right to know."

"Who are you to decide that?" Marco shot back.

The shifty, guilty look in his eyes betrayed the real reason for his anger and Sean's blood began to boil. "You knew," he stated simply "and you didn't tell her. I thought she was supposed to be your best friend."

Marco's dark eyes turned considerably darker and stormy. He would turn a blind eye when it came to many things. But Ellie, and how he felt about her, was not one of them. And coming from the guy who had broken her heart after convincing her to trust him-it was too much. "She is." He stepped closer to Sean, the urge to defend his best friend taking over his ration and making him act most out of character. "Which is why I was trying to protect her."

Sean shook his head, his curls flopping around his forehead. "You mean lie to her."

"Ellie's been hurt enough!" Marco all but yelled through the Dot. He didn't need to add the 'by you' part. They were both thinking it. The words weren't necessary.

There was a part of Sean, buried deep down inside, that he tried to ignore because it was where he hid all the things that he was the most ashamed of. The way he had run out on Ellie was one of those things. She had meant a lot to him at one point in his life and had been really good to him. Then he had broken and hadn't trusted her enough to let her help him through it. That was when the guilt had crept in and he had just … left. Left Ellie, left Jay. Left Emma.

And now here was Marco Del Rossi, making him face it once more.

"If she's hung up on Craig," Sean said, knowing there was no 'if' involved, "then she needs to know right now what kind of guy he is."

"He was your friend once." Marco's statement was simple was simple and direct. The kind that cut the deepest.

Sean nodded. He was sad, sadder than he could remember being for a long time. Not just for Ellie and Emma. But for Manny and Craig and what they had once all meant to each other-back when they had been friends. "Key word there, Marco is was."

"Ellie can't take much more right now. And I just saw you with Manny," He didn't have to say that he knew about him and Manny as well. There were precious few secrets that could be kept in their lives. "And what about Emma? I thought you two were it."

"After she had sex with Craig?" Sean asked incredulously.

Marco chuckled like an indulgent old uncle. "I saw you just now, Sean. You two are no more over than peanut butter and jelly. Maybe it's time for you to make up your mind."

…0...0...0...0...0...0...

The sound of laughter invaded the quiet stillness of the Jeremiah household. Craig opened the front door, standing back to allow Emma to walk inside in front of him. She wiped at her eyes, drying the last remaining tears that lingered on her cheeks from Craig's horrible Mr. Radditch on acid impression.

"That's so wrong."

He smirked at her. "You're the one who's laughing."

"Tonight was fun." Emma said. Once the ugly incident with Manny and Sean was behind them, they had been able to slip back into the companionable mood they had been in before they left- Craig even having succeeded in talking Emma into throwing popcorn at Heather Sinclair and her latest guy of the week.

"Yeah," Craig agreed, "it was. After what happened, I was terrified that you would never want anything else to do with me."

She shook her head. He had to go there. "You're my friend Craig. Nothing is gonna change that."

They were standing in the entryway to the living room, Emma leaning up against the wall. Craig was standing in front of her, propped up by his hand on the wall by her head. There were no lights on, the only illumination coming from the outside streetlights. He could only see half her face, but he was still able to make out the complete trust on her features as she smiled up at him and he melted.

Emma took in Craig's face standing there, sinking in his familiar eyes. He was so great. If the circumstances were different, she would be so willing to just let herself fall for him. It really was too bad that whatever had sparked between them that night at the hotel was gone. As unplanned as it was, it really had been incredible.

Craig noticed something snared in her blond locks and lifted his hand to pull it out. "You have popcorn in your hair." he said softly. Much softer than he had intended. He let the small kernel fall to the floor, and his hand ghosted down her cheek.

She opened her mouth to say something, but there were no words to describe the feeling rising up in her chest. There was an electricity in the air she hadn't felt since she and Sean had first gotten back together. The sparks that had made their night together so intense seemed to be coming back in full force from wherever they had been hiding. Her fingers found his jacket, skimming upwards to his neck as his mouth crashed into hers hungrily.

Emma gripped Craig tighter as he ravaged her mouth. It was one of those kisses that was all lips and tongues and teeth and wanting and she felt like she was going to drown in him. Craig's palms flattened out against the wall on either side of her head. He was terrified that if he let himself touch her he would never be able to stop.

Emma reach up and pulled his hands down, entwining their fingers at their sides as she broke away from him, gasping for breath. He barely gave her time to recover before capturing her lips again. She pressed further into him, making him groan into her mouth, and she nearly buckled against him. She could practically taste the sound and it made her want him so badly she was afraid of what she might do.

She pulled back abruptly, gasping for air. Craig made to move into her again, but she put her hands on his chest to stop him. "Craig," she breathed, "we can't."

His composure broke. He leaned his forehead against hers, hands once more trapping her between his body and the wall. "You're right."

"What's going on?" she whispered, her hands still on his chest. She could feel his heart pounding beneath her palm and it sent her own into overdrive.

Craig shook his head, brushing against her forehead and went a little crazy that such an innocent touch could send shivers racing down his spine. "I don't know."

Emma raised her head, forcing him to raise his as well. He looked down at her, gulping at the expression of confusion vying with desire that he saw. A wave of lust broke over him and he kissed her again desperately. She tried to resist, but he buried his hands in her hair, tilting her head while his lips traveled down her neck, causing her to cave.

…0...0...0...0...0...0...

"Joey!"

He stopped on the front porch, his hand falling away from the doorknob as he glanced up at the girl walking towards him.

"Ellie, hi. What can I do for you?" he asked cheerfully.

She grinned at him. It was hard not to smile around Joey. Most particularly when he was in a good mood like he appeared to be right then. He was just infectious that way. "I'm looking for Craig. I need to talk to him and he's not answering his phone. Is he here?"

Joey shrugged. "I just got home. His car's here," she followed his eyes out to Craig's old clunker on the curb, "but with Craig you never know."

"Will you tell him I stopped be?" she asked.

He smiled again, broader this time. "Why don't you come in and wait for him? I'm making my special sauce tonight and I need a victim to taste test."

Ellie laughed. After the past few hours of non stop drama, it felt good to laugh so freely at something as inconsequential as pasta sauce.

"Why not?" she replied and Joey held the door open for her.

…0...0...0...0...0...0...

Craig was getting lost again. For the second time in as many days he felt himself slipping under whatever spell Emma was casting over him with her silky skin and doe eyes and yielding whimpers. It was so easy-this place here, with Emma. Being with her, as much baggage as it came with, was startlingly simple.

But it was Emma. Had he really expected anything else?

Expect … There were many expectations. Most of which had to do with why he had even come back to Toronto in the first place. There had been Manny at the forefront of it all. Sweet, pretty, devoted Manny who had loved him like no other girl in his life and had been devastated by him once more.

And then there was Ellie … Beautiful, fiery, opinionated, hopelessly broken Ellie that had been in the back of his head for months when she shouldn't have been. Like when he desperately needed someone, anyone, to care. Or when he was with his girlfriend in body but not in mind or spirit. When the worry over his night with Emma bad begun to close in on him to the point where sleep was his only escape.

Whether he would admit it to himself or not, there were man expectations when it came to her too. Too many to ignore. For any reason.

He drug his lips away from Emma's reluctantly and he pushed himself up on his forearms. "Emma, I'm sorry. I can't do this."

She sighed heavily. "You're right." she said, pushing her hair back off her sweaty face.

Craig eyed the mark forming on her neck, guilt settling in his gut. "You're amazing Em," he placed his hands on her face, "but we both know this is a bad idea."

She sighed, her head falling back against the arm of the couch. Craig's hands were still on her thighs, she could feel the warmth through the fabric of her jeans. It was making it really hard for her to be rational about this.

"This is about Ellie, isn't it?" she asked.

His weak smile was answer enough, but he still went on. "I'm crazy about her … but I'm starting to get a little crazy about you too. I'm so … I'm too damn fickle. "

"I know the feeling." she told him. She rubbed her hands over her face in distraction. "I love Sean. No matter how much he hurt me."

"He doesn't deserve you." Craig said honestly.

"Maybe," she smiled weakly at him, "but I want him to have me. Even after everything."

Craig nodded. Emma really was amazing, and Sean was in her heart. Just like Ellie was in his. And all the nights of passion in the world couldn't make them forget that.

"And I want you to have who you want." Emma went on. "And if that's Ellie, or even Manny, then so be it. I want you to be happy." She put her hands on his face, and he transferred his over them.

He smiled at her with more sincerity than he could ever remember directing at any one. But then- there weren't too many instances in his life where somebody thought enough about his needs to worry. He opened his mouth to speak-to thank her maybe, he wasn't sure-but was interrupted by the opening of the front door, the sound of familiar voices, and foot steps that stopped dead when they came in his and Emma's direction.

Joey looked … flabbergasted was the best way to describe it. And who could blame him really? His stepson and his best friends' daughter, who had never shown a substantial interest in the other before, half naked and entwined on his living room couch was not a common scene. So the gaping mouth and goldfishesque bugging eyes were perfectly understandable.

But Ellie … Oh God, Ellie. She looked as though she had been shattered from the inside out. Shaking her head sadly, she turned and walked back out the door.

Craig jumped over the couch and ran after her, leaving Emma, and his shirt, on the couch behind him. He only prayed that she would forgive him for leaving her with Joey under the circumstances. He had to get to Ellie.

She was halfway to the corner when he barreled out of his house and he dashed madly to catch her. "Ellie, that wasn't how it looked." he said hastily when he reached her.

"Really original, Craig." she said venomously and kept on walking.

"I mean it," he declared. "It may have started that way, but we stopped. And it's not going to happen again." His hands went to her shoulders, halting her in place so he could explain.

"Craig," she told him, her voice deathly calm, "it's none of my business who you screw, okay?"

His breath hitched. He'd never seen her this angry, never heard such harsh words from her. He had hurt her again, just like he hurt everyone he cared about.

"El, I stopped because of you." he confessed.

She smacked his hands away. "I don't care Craig. And the lies are completely unnecessary." She walked past him.

"It's not a lie." He caught up with her and grabbed her arm, turning her back around to face him. "Ellie, come on. You know how I feel about you."

"How would I Craig?" she yelled, jerking free from his grasp. "Was I just supposed to guess? I know, I must be psychic, right? I mean, you claim I know you so well, I should be able to read between the lines of you choosing Manny over me. Of you using me as a back up afterwards. Of ignoring me when you came in for graduation. Of you all over Emma Nelson again!" By now the tears were spilling down her cheeks and she was screaming at him, shoving him backwards with every example.

"Ellie …" The broken whisper her name was released on was unrecognizable to Craig's own ears. He never knew that seeing someone else in such pain could hurt this way.

A few tears leaked out of her eyes, scrunched tightly shut against her pain. She swiped at them angrily as if it would help alleviate the ache she felt inside. This wasn't happening to her. Not again. First Manny … now Emma? Why did this keep happening to her? Just when she thought Craig was going to wake up and they'd finally get their chance …

"If you care about me at all," she choked out, "you'll leave me alone." She began to walk away once more, her heart cracking with each step, when a known hand clamped onto her arm again.

"El … I'm sorry."

The words floated out on the night air and hung breathlessly for a few moments. Ellie let them weave there way around her before she steeled herself to what she had to do.

She glanced at him, absorbing every detail of his mop of hair to his sorrowful expression to the scar on his shoulder, filing it away in her memory banks. "I know," Ellie whispered. "You always are. But sorry can't fix everything, Craig. Not this time."

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_**La, la, la. Only two chapters to go and WAY more twists to come. Till then. :p**_


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